If you want to take care, take care of yourself

Because we know that to take care, we have to take care of ourselves

Because if we are well, we will take better care

Because taking care of those in need is not easy

Because we want to take care and we want to be hospitable

Because caring makes us human

Because you, caregiver, we care about you!

This short reading is aimed at caregivers, whether they care for a family member or are professionals caring for people with health problems or in a situation of dependency. 

Caring for a person who cannot do it for themselves, with respect, good treatment, and the right to maintain the persons' dignity at all times, can become a complicated and exhausting activity. Caring also requires a broader view that incorporates the caregiver's self-knowledge, control of one's own emotion, and the capacity for empathy and listening. 

We know that undesirable effects have derived from taking care of a person in a situation of dependency, day by day: Tiredness, sadness, insomnia, feelings of isolation, feelings of guilt, fear of personal loss, feeling of not having time for oneself, burnout, claudication... but we have tools to fight these and feel, in its fullness, all the benefits that it brings us to take care of others, such as personal growth and to live a rewarding experience. 

How can you take care of yourself? 

Get your mind going

Our mind generates thoughts and judgments that we express to others through our language

Thus:

• Be aware that you must take care of yourself
• Think that the first step now is to stop, close your eyes and breathe 
• Identify the situations that cause you the most stress
• Trust your abilities
• Be aware that you have limits 
• Leave space for you daily, for your relationship, hobbies, physical and mental rest
• Set short-term goals
• Strengthen your ability to adapt to changing needs
• Be prepared to say NO, sometimes
• Don't blame yourself
• Accept help
• Review priorities
• Watch your thoughts
• Complete tasks one at a time

Get your body going 

Our body constantly intervenes in what we are and how we live. Our postures and our breathing shows us what is happening to us.

Thus:

Take care of your own health

• Eat healthily 
• Drink plenty of water
• Set a bedtime routine between 6-8 hours
• Adopt correct postures to rest, also to mobilize for those people who need physical attention

Get physically active

• Walk
• Get in touch with nature
• Laugh
• Do stretching exercises
• Re-educate your bad posture habits

Relax, enjoy your me-time 

• Do relaxation exercises
• Meditate
• Enjoy the people and things that you like

Get your emotions going

We feel emotions under any circumstances, or energy that moves and mobilizes us.

Thus:

• Allow yourself to feel and express your emotions
• Reward yourself
• Manage stress: Stop, close your eyes, breathe
• Identify reoccurring thoughts: breath, observe your own feelings, breathe again
•  
• Gestionar el estrés: para, cierra los ojos, respira.
• Identifica los pensamientos en bucle: respira, observa los propios sentimientos, vuelve a respirar.
• Hit the calm button. Search, at least one minute per day

Get your relationships going

Thus:

• Share your suffering: talk 
• Allow yourself to get away from the person you care for
• Surround yourself with people who appreciate you
• Share, seek mutual support
• Have positive conversations

«Being able to pay attention to yourself is necessary for having the ability to pay attention to others; feeling at ease with yourself Is a necessary condition for relating to others ».  (Fromm, 1953)

This article has been produced in collaboration with the entire team of the Fundació d’Atenció a la Dependència Sant Joan de Déu.

Fromm, Erich (1953) Ethics and Psychoanalysis. México D.F. Cultural Economic Fund.