"The problem is the path you take to try to be the best in a sport."

Sandra Piñeiro took her food control to extremes, believing it was the path to perfection in rowing, the sport she practiced. This path led her two years ago to develop anorexia, a disorder from which she is slowly recovering. "I was very careful with my food, very strict, I controlled everything, and I thought it was the best thing for me. The illness sent me small warning signs, but I thought I had everything under control," Sandra explains. For her, daily life became "constant suffering, because you stop feeling and having emotions, you push away the people you love, and everything ends up being about you and your control over food."

But then one day she realized something wasn't right, that she had stopped doing the things she enjoyed, that she no longer went out with her friends, and that she wasn't really in control of the situation: "I didn't know what to do to quiet my mind, I didn't know what was happening, but I knew it wasn't me, that I wasn't making the decisions." And that's when she sought help through ACABE Guipuzkoa (Association Against Anorexia and Bulimia), an organization that has been very important throughout Sandra's journey.

“What people know about you, whether you’re an elite athlete or not, is what you want to show, but in the end, we all have our inner turmoil, our problems. Making any mental illness or problem visible is important, and not just showing that false facade that everything is fine, because it’s not true… Our strengths and our problems make us who we are.” And that’s what she’s done with the publication of her book , Rowing in the Dark : explaining that a girl like herself, seemingly “successful,” has had to row harder than ever, and is still rowing, to recover from this disorder.

Making any mental illness or problem visible is important, and not just showing that false facade that everything is fine for us.

But can we find a direct link between elite sports and eating disorders? According to Sandra, "All athletes inherently have a very perfectionist and demanding mindset. You're given physical performance goals, and to be the best, you have to strive for that perfection. The problem lies in the path you take to achieve it. What's clear is that athletes are a population susceptible to developing these types of disorders."

Proof of this lies in the recent cases of athletes publicly announcing that they have a mental health problem, a situation that has surely always existed, but which is now more visible than ever. In this regard, Sandra warns that "only the physical aspect of the athlete is focused on, and the psychological aspect is largely forgotten, something that must change, because ultimately athletes push their bodies and their mental state to the limit."

Sandra was able to follow a treatment specifically tailored to her needs so she wouldn't have to give up what she loved most: rowing. The coaches and medical team prepared a training plan for her so she could continue rowing, but "in a way that would allow me to continue recovering nutritionally and physically." This experience, unusual in anorexia treatments, is precisely what led Sandra to focus her doctoral studies on how to use sport as a tool in eating disorder recovery. "Instead of seeing it as a way to compensate or lose weight, sport can be a tool for socializing, for recovery... Sport isn't just about physical ability; it's also about well-being, camaraderie..."

She saw this camaraderie reflected in the girls on her team, who immediately embraced her and supported her from the moment she shared her eating disorder with them. Even so, Sandra has also witnessed the lack of information surrounding eating disorders, even among people close to her: "Often, the first thing they think is that you have a problem with your body, that you're insecure, or that you want to conform to some beauty ideal. But the eating disorder isn't the problem; it's the consequence of a problem you have with yourself." Faced with this misinformation, she insists that "it's everyone's responsibility—those affected and professionals alike—to share this knowledge with the entire community."

Eating disorders are not the problem; they are the consequence of a problem you have with yourself.

Sandra continues her treatment, improving day by day, working, studying, and raising awareness about this mental health disorder. Sharing her experience with others will surely help and comfort many people going through the same thing, while also bringing this illness to the attention of many others who were previously unaware of it.

"You should never throw in the towel or give up. You're not going to recover overnight, and you're going to have ups and downs during your recovery. But even during these downs, you'll be further from where you started. Life goes on, you have to enjoy it and stop punishing yourself."