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Xusa Serra Llanas. Nurse at the Illness, Bereavement and End of Life Support Unit. Hospital Universitari General de Catalunya.

"Children should not be kept away from farewell rituals."

Xusa Serra Llanas

When a family with children faces the death of a loved one, various doubts often arise: Do children understand what death means? Should they accompany us to the funeral or the ritual we perform to say goodbye?

In these cases, society remains divided between those who believe children should not attend farewell rituals and those who believe they should. It's a dichotomy on which psychology and grief experts have no doubt: children have a need to say goodbye.

Duelo adolescentes

Grief in adolescents

Xusa Serra , a nurse, anthropologist, and expert in grief, clarifies some doubts about how young children perceive death and what it means for them to participate in farewell rituals, "something we only do for loved ones to show how important that person is and will be in our lives."

"Life and death are two sides of the same coin," she explains, "children shouldn't be kept away from these rituals because it's healthy." Serra advocates talking about the subject with children in the most natural way.

Xusa Serra explains that children and adolescents need time to adjust to their feelings because "they find it very difficult to understand that death is irreversible." According to the expert, they need a different kind of grieving process, and it's important to be able to share farewell moments with family so they don't experience such an important moment in their lives alone.

This content does not replace the work of professional healthcare teams. If you think you need help, consult your usual healthcare professionals.
Publication: August 24, 2022
Last modified: November 16, 2023