Active listening has a positive impact on people
Some time ago I attended a training course related to my work as a community mediator. The instructor asked us to introduce ourselves by completing the following sentence: "If you knew me well, you would know that..." I introduced myself by saying, "If you knew me well, you would know that I am a volunteer with the Telephone of Hope."
Before volunteering, I wondered what kind of training we would receive to be able to respond to any question or problem that might arise. I learned that it's not about answering by saying what we would do or proposing solutions that seem right to us, but about helping the person find their own answers and solutions. To do this, we use empathy , which helps us understand the person's emotions and feelings, and active listening , to let them know that we understand them.
As a volunteer, I've had the opportunity to listen to many people. I've learned that we must pay as much attention, or even more, to the subjective experience of the events the person recounts as to the events themselves. Furthermore, the anonymous nature of the calls facilitates the expression of unpleasant emotions and feelings, which we often hide from others, especially those closest to us.
Once, a person with bipolar disorder told me I was lucky because I was feeling upbeat at that moment, unlike how they had felt just a few hours earlier. We talked for a while, and as I said goodbye, I told them I was glad to see them happy, but that I would have also liked to hear from them when they were feeling down. On the other end of the line, I sensed an emotional silence that gave way to heartfelt thanks.
In addition to volunteering with the Suicide Prevention Hotline , I've also been a counselor for the Suicide Prevention Hotline since its inception, although my first involvement with this service wasn't as a counselor, but as a member of the emergency support team, which acts as a liaison between counselors and emergency services. One night, in the early hours of the morning, my cell phone rang, and a counselor informed me of the need to activate the protocol for an ongoing suicide situation.
That call ended up becoming the first rescue carried out with the intervention of the Suicide Prevention Hotline. It had a very special meaning for me because it reminded me of my father's suicide attempt. I felt that, just for that one intervention, all the effort invested in launching this new service had been worthwhile.
I also have experience as a counselor. I remember a conversation with a client who was hopeless but composed. His plan was to spend the day peacefully and then take his own life in the afternoon. At first, nothing I said could make him reconsider his decision, but empathetic support, my willingness to actively listen, and offering him an external resource he was unaware of, finally gave way to hope.
The pandemic situation we've been living through for the past year has once again highlighted the fact that, as a volunteer, I can't change the circumstances of the people who call the Suicide Prevention Helpline or the Suicide Prevention Hotline. However, I've been able to see again that active listening has a positive impact on people, even in difficult times like these. That's why I'm proud to volunteer with these services and that it's part of who I am.
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