"Abusive dynamics end up becoming normalized within the family."

When abuse is a part of your world from the moment you're born, at first, you don't see it that way. You're a child and you don't understand what life is about, nor do you fully understand the adult world. If the adults around you don't tell you that something is wrong, it seems like that's just how life is, and that's how things are.

There are different types of abuse, and some are very obvious to everyone. But psychological abuse is difficult to detect because it can be very subtle to others.

The people around you usually find justifications:   "A parent with a cold and distant personality, that's not a crime. Everyone has their own way of being"; "Perhaps they think children should be raised in a rigid and sometimes ruthless way. Well, that's influenced by the kind of upbringing they received as well..."

Where is the line drawn, where does the abuse begin? An outsider won't dare to judge , because they only see the tip of the iceberg and, moreover, they probably wonder: "What can I do? or How can I say anything, if I'm not even sure?"

Those closest to her, like friends and family , have an emotional connection with her, and it may even be a good relationship. Abusive individuals can be sociable and charming in other settings. Because of this emotional bond with her, and the normalized image they perceive, it's very difficult for them to ask questions.

The closest person, your other parent , is there most of the time and sees more than most. But they are your partner, and a strong emotional bond keeps them together. Furthermore, the abuse process doesn't usually begin abruptly. And that allows abusive family dynamics to gradually take root and be perceived as normal.

And there you are, obviously not knowing what's going on either, because to everyone else, it seems like nothing's wrong. But a feeling of unease is growing inside you . In my case, it manifested through my body. I was sick for almost my entire childhood: asthma, allergies, viruses, infections… My immune system couldn't cope because I was in a constant state of stress.

The abuse process does not usually begin abruptly, and this causes abusive family dynamics to gradually take hold and be perceived as normal.

During my teenage years , I was already very clear that I wanted to be as far away from my mother as possible . I also sensed that something wasn't right in my life; emotionally, I felt like I was on a rollercoaster, but of course, adolescence involves all those factors. So, at that point, no one suspected anything negative about my family situation. Trying to understand what was happening to me and what was happening at home led me to study psychology at university. But I needed much more to truly understand it.

Childhood and Adolescent Abuse

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There came a point when I realized I needed therapy. Until I could put a name to the situation I had been through, I didn't understand what was happening to me. Abuse was the word that described it, and the symptoms I had been experiencing were typical of post-traumatic stress . I began to understand the origin of the anxiety, the nightmares, the problems I was having with my personal relationships…

Before all that light, I had been in darkness, always thinking something was wrong with me, even that I was going crazy. What could I think when I sometimes felt like there was another thought inside me, one that didn't seem to be my own? I even did things I didn't intend to do, on occasion. When I discovered it was dissociation , I was able to understand it and deal with it in therapy, and everything changed for the better.

It's been a long and difficult road to get to where I am today, in terms of my mental health. Knowing and understanding is therapeutic; it guides you on that path of recovery. Sharing it is too.

Putting things in writing, explaining them, requires processing what happened, and that helps in overcoming it. That's why I put my story into images and words , to help me process my trauma and, in turn, help others recognize and understand theirs.

Comics and humor have been two tools that have helped me express this. Because laughing at what scares us is a way to make it more manageable and overcome.