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My daughter has always had plenty of friends, but lately she's started isolating herself and we don't know why. What should we parents do?

Berta Espona Barcons
Berta Espona Barcons
Education Technique
Ajuntament de Girona

The first step is to talk to her to understand the reasons for this change. They can be very varied, and sometimes we can't even imagine them. You should keep in mind that she doesn't necessarily feel lonely right now. Loneliness occurs when a person perceives that the quantity and quality of their social relationships doesn't match the quantity and quality they want. Perhaps she's gone through a process where she's decided to keep fewer friends because the others weren't giving her what she expected. Or perhaps she no longer has any connection (interests, motivations, etc.) with these people. Adolescence is a time of change, and sometimes the friends who were with us during childhood disappear in adolescence because you have nothing in common.

If your daughter's experience of this situation is negative and she feels alone, you can support her with different suggestions :

  • Together, look for social activities that might interest you and allow you to meet new people outside your usual network.
  • Participate in volunteer activities or in associations.
  • Find group activities with other young people your age during school holidays.
  • Develop strategies, with the help of professionals if necessary, to help you in this situation (emotional management, self-esteem, self-knowledge, healthy lifestyle habits).

But on the other hand, it's also important to make sure that this situation isn't the result of something else . Sometimes loneliness stems from a different problem. There are personal situations that increase a person's vulnerability and can even lead to social isolation: eating disorders, addictions, other mental health disorders, disabilities, being a victim of violence, and migration. If another problem is behind this reduction in the number of friends, it's important to identify it as soon as possible and take action.

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Berta Espona Barcons
Berta Espona Barcons
Education Technique
Ajuntament de Girona