- What is the difference between being alone and feeling lonely?
- I know a lot of people and I have a social life, but I actually feel lonely and misunderstood. Why is this happening to me?
- This sadness I feel now that I'm young, this loneliness, will it stay with me for the rest of my life? Is it a problem with my personality?
- I'm ashamed to admit that I feel lonely and I don't know how or where to ask for help.
- How can I tell if my child is alone because they like being alone or because they don't have friends?
- What are the consequences for my teenage daughter of not having friends?
- My daughter has always had plenty of friends, but lately she's started isolating herself and we don't know why. What should we parents do?
- What can I do to avoid feeling lonely?
- How can I overcome my fears and low self-esteem so I can meet people and not feel so alone?
- Can technology help me or does it worsen the feeling of loneliness due to the lack of physical contact with other people?
- How can we help a young person who feels lonely?
- I feel lonely and I'm feeling unwell both physically and emotionally, could this be related?
- I've moved and I'm finding it difficult to connect with people I don't know. Could feeling lonely lead to depression?
- If someone tells us they feel lonely, what should we say and what shouldn't we say?
- How can educators detect if a teenager or young person is suffering from unwanted loneliness?
How can I tell if my child is alone because they like being alone or because they don't have friends?
First, it's important to understand how your child perceives this situation . Loneliness is a subjective experience, meaning it's a personal perception. It refers to a mismatch between the quantity and quality of social relationships a person has and those they would like to have. Therefore, your child may not feel lonely because they believe that the quantity and quality of their current social relationships are precisely what they want.
Loneliness is a different concept from social isolation, which is objective and occurs when a person's network of family and friends is very small, very far away, or doesn't inspire confidence in them to turn to in times of need. If, when talking to your child, they are very clear about which people in their network they can turn to in case of need, and that they will find the necessary trust in them to resolve the situation together, they likely have a strong network (although perhaps not as large as that of some of their peers).
It is important to keep in mind that loneliness can be both a cause and a consequence of other situations . For example, a person who uses addictive substances may have started using them because they felt lonely, or they may end up feeling lonely as a result of their substance use, even experiencing social isolation. There are personal situations that increase a person's vulnerability and can lead to social isolation: eating disorders, addictions, other mental health disorders, disabilities, being a victim of violence, migration processes, etc. Your child is probably not experiencing any of these situations, but it is another factor to consider.
Therefore, it would be interesting to first understand their experience of this situation and whether they truly feel alone . If so, you can support them with different suggestions:
- Together, look for social activities that might interest you and allow you to meet new people outside your usual network.
- Participate in volunteer activities or in associations
- Find group activities with other young people of your age during the school holidays
- Develop strategies, with the help of professionals if necessary, to help you in this situation (emotional management, self-esteem, self-knowledge, healthy lifestyle habits).