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When a student expresses suicidal thoughts in response to a painful situation, what should a counselor do in a school? For example, if they say, "If this happens, I'll kill myself. If my parents get divorced, I'll kill myself."

Cecilia Borrás
Cecilia Borrás
Psychologist. Founding President
Después del Suicidio – Asociación de Supervivientes (DSAS)

This student is probably expressing a fear of pain that he thinks he may experience by anticipating situations that are very painful.

These are fears or anxieties that arise in the face of what could be "anticipatory grief" towards situations where there is a risk of breaking an emotional bond with someone, a place or something we have an appreciation or emotional connection to.

As a counselor, and depending on each case, we would recommend talking to the student so they can verbalize their fears. Doing so will make those thoughts less painful. Talking helps everyone; in this case, it's about speaking with them calmly and with respectful curiosity, not as an interrogation. Thank them for their trust . Acknowledge that these are painful situations for them and validate their feelings . Try to offer confidentiality, but don't promise things you can't keep. Involve their support network, parents or legal guardians if possible, and help them understand that professional help, if needed, will help them manage the distress they are experiencing.

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Francisco Villar Cabeza
Dr. Francisco Villar Cabeza
Clinical Psychologist. Coordinator of the Care Program for Suicidal Behaviours in Minors
Hospital Sant Joan de Déu Barcelona
Cecilia Borrás
Cecilia Borrás
Psychologist. Founding President
Después del Suicidio – Asociación de Supervivientes (DSAS)