I'm a first-time mother and had a very difficult delivery. Since then, I've been having recurring nightmares. I want to have more children, but I'm afraid I won't be able to cope with this situation. What do you recommend?

Unfortunately, traumatic childbirth is more common than we might think. Some practices performed during labor can have a high potential for trauma. Furthermore, what happens during childbirth leaves a lasting impression and affects the physical and emotional well-being of both the mother and her baby.

In some cases, women will experience significant obstetric complications that can lead to highly instrumental deliveries, the need for emergency cesarean sections, or other highly complex situations. Clearly, these circumstances will negatively influence the subjective experience of childbirth. However, it's important to remember that a situation of great clinical severity doesn't have to occur for a mother to feel she has had a difficult birth. What defines, for a woman, whether her birth was traumatic or not is her own subjective experience. If, during labor, the mother feels that things happened that she didn't think she was capable of handling, if there were any complications, if she felt judged or disrespected, if decisions were made without her consent… all these situations can lead to a traumatic birth experience.

In these cases, it is common for feelings of anger, irritability, low mood, anxiety, nightmares, or recurring thoughts about what happened to appear; difficulty bonding with the baby may also occur.

Some recommendations are:

• It's important to give yourself permission to talk about your birth . All women need to share their birth stories. In the case of a traumatic birth, we often avoid talking about it because remembering it causes pain or because we feel misunderstood. But if we don't talk about what we've experienced, if we don't name what we feel, we can't organize and process it emotionally. We need to talk about it to integrate the experience.
• Look for someone sensitive and trustworthy, someone you know will listen to you without judging you .
• Write about your birth experience.
• There are also online support forums for mothers; sharing your experience can be a first step towards healing from your birth.
• It is also important to remember that, even if your baby's arrival into the world was not as you expected or wished, you have plenty of time ahead to "mother" your baby as you wish.

However, if the symptoms do not improve, it could be post-traumatic stress disorder, and it would be advisable to consult with a professional sensitive to perinatal issues.