How social media impacts self-esteem

Adolescence is a stage of construction and significant changes on several levels: neurophysiological, cognitive, emotional, bodily, and relational changes occur. All these changes imply a qualitative leap in development, and this is what we call adolescence.

Each child needs to integrate these changes. We would use the term self-concept to refer to the cognitive outcome, or the idea that adolescents will have of themselves. And we would use the term self-esteem to refer to the emotional outcome, or the feeling resulting from this integration of changes.

Self-esteem and self-concept are related in a circular way , in such a way that the idea they have of themselves influences their feelings, and the emotions they experience in relation to these changes influence their idea of themselves.

When the emotions a teenager experiences in relation to these changes are excessively intense, unpleasant, overwhelming, or unmanageable, negative ideas about themselves begin to develop. And these ideas trigger more unpleasant emotional states.

This process usually influences all areas of development: socialization, self-care, risk behaviors, school performance, sexuality, and mental health.

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The communication formats that existed before the advent of social media significantly influenced, and continue to influence, teenagers. The most common psychological process through which they are influenced is identification with role models: previously footballers, singers, actors, and actresses, and now also YouTubers, influencers, Instagrammers, TikTokers, streamers , and so on.

But social networks constitute a new means of connection and relationship between equals with particular codes, channels and dynamics.

On the one hand, they are a real and central medium in the lives of teenagers . Movies, advertisements, or radio are not forms of interconnection. This is one of the major differences.

Socialization, the search for a social group, and the need for belonging are crucial elements in the psychological development of adolescents. Online role models establish a closer relationship with them, addressing adolescents directly. Therefore, they are fulfilling this active psychological need during this stage of development.

On the other hand, social networks are a means of peer socialization . Conventional media are not. And this is where a new digital universe of socialization opens up, influencing the daily lives of teenagers as much as, or even more than, analog social interactions.

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In recent years, alarmist headlines have emerged pointing to social media use as the cause of the decline in mental health among today's teenagers. However, in the realm of scientific research, while most reliable studies do find a significant, albeit weak, correlation between social media and screen use and declining mental health, not all studies indicate this relationship.

Furthermore, the type of scientific research that has been carried out in psychology, psychiatry and neuroscience around the impact of social networks only raises associations between variables, which is not the same as a cause-and-effect relationship.

Currently, research is trying to provide more relevant and concrete data. Although there is scientific agreement that a relationship exists between social media and screen use and a decline in mental health, we don't know how, why, or on whom it has the greatest impact. This is the current focus of research.

Therefore, we must be cautious when interpreting the data and we must always read with a critical eye the headlines launched by the media , which far from informing the population, pursue other interests.

To answer the question directly, I believe the key lies in involving families , educational and community centers, businesses, and institutions in developing skills for the healthy use of social media and screens.

I am sure that the involvement of everyone, together with advances in scientific research about the real risks, would allow us to approach this reality in a more educational way , considerably reducing the negative impact that this medium can have on mental health.

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Teenagers need to compare themselves to both their peers and their role models, as the self-definition of their self-concept and personal identity are at stake.

I imagine the question refers not so much to how to avoid the tendency of teenagers to compare themselves, but to how to question the content of the role models they consume.

To do this, we need to know their role models. We must investigate with curiosity who they are and why they might be serving as a reference point in our sons' and daughters' development.

The difficulties many parents have in managing social media with the same digital competence as their children, the generational barrier that affects their worldview, or the adult-centric perception are often major barriers to understanding their ideology.

Therefore, before questioning or helping them develop a critical perspective on their idols or the content they consume, we must approach them without judgment . This understanding will allow us to converse with them and comprehend the references and values they are developing.

Several studies indicate that the relationship we, as adults, establish with our bodies has a significant influence on the relationship they build with theirs.

The best way to help them accept their bodies is to examine our own relationship with them . Do we have a healthy relationship with food, or do we start a restrictive diet every spring because "I look terrible for the beach"? Do we exercise to enjoy the movement, or to allow ourselves to eat whatever we want on the weekend? Do we value beauty in all its diversity, or do we applaud thinness when we see an actress in a movie?

I raise these questions because we are all immersed in a diet culture with a clear fatphobic and moralistic component regarding food choices. And we are not even aware of it. Becoming aware of how these beliefs about the body, beauty ideals, or the relationship between thinness and health influence our daily lives will allow us to avoid narratives that negatively condition the relationship our teenagers build with their bodies.

In addition, talking about body-related concerns, supporting them in their feelings without judgment, and giving them access to less conventional and diverse beauty models can facilitate body acceptance.

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Of course. Questioning beauty standards and diet culture, or examining the impact of culture on our relationship with food, our bodies, and physical activity, is not incompatible with having healthy habits . In fact, that's the goal: for them to be holistically healthy.

In this sense, the key lies in flexibility, treating oneself well, and connecting with enjoyment and pleasure.

If by eating well, doing sports and looking good we mean eating a varied, nutritious diet, being flexible, doing physical activity according to our tastes/hobbies and exploring, taking care of ourselves and expressing ourselves through aesthetics, we will be activating positive behaviors .

If we understand it as a way to control our diet to lose weight, to routinely engage in physical activity regardless of our energy levels or preferences, and to need to look perfect to feel secure, then we will be engaging in negative behaviors .

Yes. We're talking about a problem when our relationship with food, our bodies, and our appearance affects one or more areas of our lives. Below are some warning signs that may indicate the need to consult with specialists :

Regarding body image

• If you express concern or discomfort about your body image and this affects your emotional state.
• If you experience excessive fear of gaining weight or a need to be excessively muscular.
• If he is excessively self-demanding and perfectionistic about his own image or body.
• If you externalize self-harming, overly critical or fatphobic internal dialogue.
• If you have experienced bodily changes that have impacted your ability to regulate your emotions or your self-concept and self-esteem.
• If you have stopped doing things you liked because of your body.

Regarding food

• If food occupies excessive mental space in your daily life.
• If you use food restriction as a form of control, punishment, or to soothe your discomfort.
• If some foods are prohibited.
• If you are a very rigid person with eating patterns.

Regarding physical activity

• If your relationship with physical exercise is excessively strict or represents a form of compensation.
• If the only motivation for physical exercise is weight control and body shaping.

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There is evidence that certain contents can aggravate the symptoms of eating disorders.

Social media reproduces many of the social structures that permeate our society: the ideal of beauty, aesthetic pressure, gender stereotypes, fatphobia, diet culture... However, prohibition as a form of parental guidance often negatively impacts the bond that adolescents establish with their families or legal guardians.

My approach in consultations is always twofold: first, I encourage families and teenagers to negotiate rules for social media use . Many families explain to their children that they will monitor the content they consume and that they will have access to their social media accounts until they reach the age of majority. This can be a valuable measure that allows us to support them and maintain communication. Second, I always encourage families and teenagers to follow accounts that promote a healthy relationship with body image and food . This allows them to counteract the negative impact of harmful content and question the implicit messages that perpetuate social structures that support unhealthy relationships with food and body image.

Below are some Instagram accounts that promote a healthy relationship with food and body image: @croquetamente__ @gu_nutricion @nutritionisthenewblack @stefyactiva @teresalopezcerdan @rocio_rodriguez_psicologia @forapsico @adri_gimeno .

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Let's remember that self-esteem is the result of how adolescents feel about their own self-concept. Self-esteem is composed of the imprint of emotional memory and the experiences and meanings we assign to them. We cannot directly influence our children's self-esteem, but we can guide them in developing its essential components.

Offering our sons and daughters a space for non-judgmental listening, communication and emotional support , as well as clear boundaries, has a very positive effect on their ability to regulate their emotions, make decisions, develop autonomy and build their own critical thinking.

These, among others, are essential ingredients for strengthening self-esteem.

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Numerous studies show a link between frequent use of filters and body dissatisfaction and preoccupation with physical appearance . Most studies point to the internalization of unrealistic beauty standards and aesthetic pressure as mediating factors in this association.

On the other hand, there is a relationship between body dissatisfaction and social avoidance behaviors . Therefore, we could say that for some adolescents, the frequent use of filters could indeed lead to a worsening of body dissatisfaction and an increase in social isolation.

We can internalize that our beauty is measured by the distance between our true body shape and the one proposed by filters.

In consultation it is visible how the current generation is influenced by two models of beauty, both with a great impact on their body image: that of the analog world (more casual, less pronounced features) and that of the digital world (which exalts an unreal perfectionism and an artificial beauty).

Social media filters often function as equalizers or aesthetic standards that allow us all to conform to the prevailing digital beauty ideal . Through them, we internalize that our beauty is measured by the difference between our true body shape and the one suggested by the filters.

Teenagers and young people are the most affected by this dynamic due to the evolutionary need for group acceptance and vulnerability to the prevailing norm.

I believe we talk more about adolescence because they are a more vulnerable group and because we have an extra responsibility as a society in terms of care and education.

But we also do it because we're biased by an adult-centric perspective . We tend to approach the educational dilemma of how to guide children in managing the influence of screens and social media as if adults weren't affected by this reality. Nothing could be further from the truth; the pressure to conform to beauty standards affects everyone at every stage of life .

Each autonomous community makes available to schools various awareness and sensitization programs for students, families and teachers on mental health or the use of social networks and screens.

In addition to my private practice, I am responsible for the Educational Guidance and Diversity Support Department at the Aldapeta María school in San Sebastián. This school year, our school implemented the Zeuk Aukeratu program through the San Sebastián City Council and Agifes. The program has been very well received and has allowed us to identify new cases requiring specialized support for various mental health issues.

Depression, like all mental disorders, is a multifactorial condition. Therefore, a single causal relationship cannot be established that can, by itself, explain the onset of a disorder.

That said, social pressure to experience and express only pleasant emotions is indeed a risk factor for the development of emotional regulation difficulties , which in turn underlie a large number of mental disorders.

I take this opportunity to remind everyone that all emotions serve a biopsychosocial function and that they must be experienced, expressed, and processed.

The culture of radical positivism, the suppression of uncomfortable emotional states, the culture of effort or "it all depends on you" often have a negative impact on both the emotional regulation of the general population and the mental health of the population that is going through a disorder.

Raising awareness of mental health or mental disorders is a necessary activity, since we start from a society that continues to stigmatize mental health problems .

However, how we communicate about mental health does impact the collective understanding we are building as a society. Personal testimonies are necessary and undeniable. Each person's experience is the real experience of that condition. In that sense, we must be extremely respectful. I also believe we should show gratitude to relevant and influential figures when they choose to share a personal testimony.

But the problem arises when unqualified individuals offer unsubstantiated advice or opinions on relevant mental health issues. A few months ago, a controversy erupted when numerous influencers were interviewed by a mental health outreach outlet for advice on the topic. This is dangerous. Guidelines and guidance on mental health should be provided by properly qualified professionals. And no one else.

A similar situation occurs with vulnerable groups, such as LGBTQIA+ youth or migrant adolescents, whose experiences are constantly questioned and unfounded opinions are offered, all fueled by the politicization of their realities and needs. This is dangerous because it jeopardizes the mental health of these groups.

Talking. Communication is essential to understanding what's behind that criticism. In most cases, there's unease, fear of not fitting in, personal insecurity, or relationship conflicts.

Accompanying our teenagers in managing their feelings and empowering them with autonomy is a necessary step and compatible with learning about limits, respect for others, and positive coexistence.

Cyberbullying is a type of bullying that occurs through digital means. Unlike traditional bullying, cyberbullying doesn't end when our children get home . Furthermore, in many cases, the person or group engaging in bullying behavior can be anonymous, which significantly hinders the identification of the perpetrators.

Schools in our country have a protocol for addressing bullying and cyberbullying . If there are suspicions that the aggressors belong to the same school community as the victim, it is essential to involve the school . Once the protocol is activated, observations, interviews, and information gathering will be carried out to determine if there is evidence of bullying. If so, the schools will implement educational and corrective measures , also involving families, the education inspectorate, and organizations that support students with disabilities.

Furthermore, legal action can be taken against cyberbullying in our country. To do so, it is essential to present evidence (screenshots, emails, or any other type of communication) to the relevant authorities.

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Monograph

As I have pointed out in several answers, addressing this challenge makes no sense without approaching it from a perspective of shared responsibility.

In my opinion, the worst part is borne by the teenagers themselves, who are labeled as the "glass generation," "fragile generation," etc.

However, they are the last ones we should point to as responsible.

I hope your daughter enjoys it very much.

Our approach to digital reality is often fraught with fear, which is understandable, given the messages we receive through the media.

However, as mentioned before, the important thing isn't so much whether or not it's normal, but rather identifying the function this activity serves for your daughter . Is she doing it as a form of expression in a medium that connects her with peers, or is she compensating for some deficiency or difficulty? What is her relationship with the social network like? Does she use it in moderation and manage it, or is her use compulsive, and does she need it to feel good?

Do you understand the environment and use it as a mother in a way that allows you to connect with her, or does a lack of control distance you from her and generate fear and discomfort? The answers to these questions could give us more clues to evaluate what you're suggesting.