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How to build healthy sexual and emotional relationships

Promoting healthy sexual and emotional development is important for building healthy relationships throughout life. We're talking about self-love and self-respect, about sexuality beyond sex, about love, communication, and trust, but also about setting boundaries when necessary and demonstrating emotional responsibility. But were we raised to have healthy sexual and emotional relationships? Can we recognize situations that aren't satisfying? How can we foster these kinds of relationships in ourselves and our children? In this session, we want to give you some guidelines and advice to help you build healthy relationships. Send us your questions and let's talk about it all.

What does it mean to have a healthy sexual and emotional relationship?

Cristina Callao
Cristina Callao
Psychologist, sexologist and couples therapist

Building a healthy sexual and emotional relationship requires a holistic approach to communication, respect, and empathy. It is vital that both people feel safe and valued within the relationship. To achieve this, it is necessary to:

  • Encourage open communication: express thoughts and emotions honestly and without fear of judgment.
  • Set clear boundaries: both of you must agree on your expectations and needs.
  • Practice empathy: understand the other person's point of view and show emotional support.
  • Resolve conflicts constructively: avoid blame and look for solutions instead of winning an argument.
  • Promoting individuality: a healthy relationship allows both parties to grow personally and professionally without feeling limited.
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How can I tell if I'm in a toxic relationship? Are there any warning signs that can help me identify it?

Cristina Callao
Cristina Callao
Psychologist, sexologist and couples therapist

Detecting a toxic relationship involves being attentive to certain signs that indicate unbalanced power dynamics or emotional abuse. Some of the most common signs include:

  • Excessive control: the other person tries to control who you talk to, how you dress, or what you do.
  • Emotional manipulation : uses emotional blackmail to make you do what he wants.
  • Excessive jealousy or constant unfounded accusations.
  • Disrespect: insults, destructive criticism, or contempt.
  • Social isolation: it distances you from your friends or family.
  • Inequality in the relationship: one person has more power over the other, whether economic, emotional, or sexual.
  • If you constantly feel insecure, anxious, or dissatisfied in the relationship, it's a major red flag.
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How to manage jealousy in a relationship

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Can we only talk about sexual and emotional relationships within a monogamous relationship, that is, with your partner?

Cristina Callao
Cristina Callao
Psychologist, sexologist and couples therapist

Romantic and sexual relationships are not limited to monogamy. Various relational configurations exist, such as polyamory and open relationships, among others. The essential element in any type of relationship is that all those involved agree to the terms and maintain clear and consistent communication. In consensual non-monogamous relationships, respect for boundaries, managing jealousy, and honesty in interactions with all individuals involved are equally important.

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Any recommendations for maintaining empathetic and healthy communication with your partner?

Cristina Callao
Cristina Callao
Psychologist, sexologist and couples therapist

To maintain healthy and empathetic communication in a relationship, it is necessary to focus on techniques that promote mutual understanding:

  • Active listening : pay attention to what your partner says without interrupting, making sure you understand their perspective before responding.
  • Use of "I" statements : Instead of accusing, use phrases like "I feel..." to express how situations affect you.
  • Emotional validation : Let your partner know that you understand and validate their emotions, even if you don't agree with everything.
  • Time to talk : set specific times to talk about important issues and prevent misunderstandings from building up.
  • Avoid assumptions : ask when you have doubts, instead of assuming what the other person is thinking or feeling.
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My partner has health problems and has a lot of trouble maintaining an erection, which means we're having sex less and less. What can I do to bring up the topic of sex without upsetting him?

Cristina Callao
Cristina Callao
Psychologist, sexologist and couples therapist

It's important to approach the topic with empathy and understanding, without making your partner feel like they're failing. Instead of focusing the conversation exclusively on erection problems, it's better to talk more broadly about intimacy in general. Some strategies:

  • Focus on the emotional connection : talk about how you feel about intimacy, without pointing to its difficulty as the central problem.
  • Suggest new ways to explore sexuality : suggest other ways to enjoy yourselves together, such as using toys, erotic massages, or focusing on other forms of pleasure that do not depend on an erection.
  • Involve a professional : It can be helpful to consult a sex therapist or doctor specializing in erectile dysfunction.
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My fear of being betrayed makes me prefer being alone to being in a relationship. How can I overcome this fear?

Cristina Callao
Cristina Callao
Psychologist, sexologist and couples therapist

Fear of betrayal is often linked to past experiences of emotional pain or insecurity. To overcome it:

  • Explore the causes of fear : reflect on the origin of this distrust and whether it is related to past events or family experiences.
  • Work on your self-esteem : greater self-confidence can reduce the fear of abandonment, as you will know that you are capable of handling any circumstance.
  • Communication in a relationship : If you decide to enter into a relationship, it is essential that you talk about your fears with your partner so that they can understand your needs.
  • Therapy : Professional support can help you process these emotions and develop tools to trust again.
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Sex is a constant topic of discussion between my partner and me. Is this normal?

Cristina Callao
Cristina Callao
Psychologist, sexologist and couples therapist

Differences in sexual expectations are common in relationships. However, if arguments are frequent, it may be a sign of other underlying issues that need to be addressed, such as a lack of emotional communication or differences in emotional needs. It is helpful to:

  • Explore the causes of the argument : Is it about frequency, type of sex, or unspoken expectations?
  • Find solutions together : work on how you can both feel satisfied and heard, perhaps by adjusting expectations or exploring new forms of intimacy.
  • Consulting a couples therapist or sexologist can help mediate and find solutions to improve communication and sexual understanding.
Una pareja en pijama desayunando

How to maintain a healthy sexual and emotional relationship with your partner?

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I'm afraid of being rejected sexually because of a physical problem, and this is holding me back. What can I do?

Cristina Callao
Cristina Callao
Psychologist, sexologist and couples therapist

Fear of rejection can create barriers to intimacy, but there are ways to deal with it:

  • Body acceptance : working on accepting your physique, recognizing that everyone has insecurities.
  • Open communication : Talking to your partner about your fears can help reduce anxiety. Often, the other person doesn't share the same concerns or perceptions as you.
  • Explore vulnerability : showing vulnerability can strengthen the emotional and sexual connection, as sharing your insecurities is an act of trust.
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The importance of taking care of self-esteem

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My wife doesn't want to have sex with me. Is this normal? What can I do?

Cristina Callao
Cristina Callao
Psychologist, sexologist and couples therapist

A lack of sexual desire in a couple can be caused by various factors such as stress, hormonal problems, emotional exhaustion, or relationship difficulties. It's important not to assume it's a problem of personal rejection. To address it:

  • Talk openly with her : ask her how she feels and if there is anything that is affecting her.
  • Explore other forms of intimacy : sex isn't the only means of intimate connection, and you can work together to rekindle that emotional connection.
  • Consider seeking professional help : a couples therapist or sexologist can help identify underlying causes.
Una pareja en pijama desayunando

How to maintain a healthy sexual and emotional relationship with your partner?

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I find it very difficult to trust my partner, no matter how hard I try. What can I do?

Cristina Callao
Cristina Callao
Psychologist, sexologist and couples therapist

Trust is built over time and through consistent actions. If you find it difficult to trust your partner, the following may be helpful:

  • Identify the source of your mistrust : Does it stem from past experiences, personal insecurities, or current behaviors of your partner?
  • Honest communication : express your feelings of distrust to your partner without blaming them, seeking a conversation that allows you to resolve your doubts.
  • Create agreements : establish clear agreements on what both consider acceptable in the relationship to avoid misunderstandings.
  • Working in therapy : If insecurities persist, individual or couples therapy can offer tools to manage mistrust.
Una pareja en pijama desayunando

How to maintain a healthy sexual and emotional relationship with your partner?

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How to promote and develop a healthy sex and emotional relationship in women during menopause?

Cristina Callao
Cristina Callao
Psychologist, sexologist and couples therapist

During menopause, hormonal changes can affect sex drive and self-image, but sexuality remains an important part of well-being. Some strategies include:

  • Talking openly about changes : communication with your partner is essential to adjust expectations and explore new forms of intimacy.
  • Use of lubricants or hormonal treatments : if there are physical symptoms such as vaginal dryness, these can be managed with medical help.
  • Explore other forms of pleasure : sex doesn't have to focus on penetration, and it can be an opportunity to rediscover other forms of intimacy.
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Experiencing menopause as an opportunity

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What are the main recommendations I can give my daughter about sexual and emotional relationships?

Cristina Callao
Cristina Callao
Psychologist, sexologist and couples therapist

Teaching your daughter about healthy sexual and emotional relationships is essential for her development. Key recommendations include:

  • Mutual respect : any relationship should be based on respect for the other person's wishes, boundaries, and emotions.
  • Clear communication : it is important that you know that you can and should express what you feel and need.
  • Emotional autonomy : you must learn that your emotional well-being does not depend entirely on another person, and that a healthy relationship reinforces individuality.
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I know my son consumes pornography, and I'm afraid it will be his only reference point for future relationships. What can I do?

Cristina Callao
Cristina Callao
Psychologist, sexologist and couples therapist

Pornography should not be the only source of sexual information for young people, as it can distort their understanding of sex and relationships. It is important to:

  • Speak openly: explain that pornography does not reflect the reality of emotional relationships or sex, and that communication, consent, and respect are essential.
  • Educating about sexuality: providing them with adequate information about sex, relationships, and the importance of consent and mutual pleasure.
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The effects of pornography on the emotional and sexual development of adolescents

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Is it normal to detect sexual behavior towards girls in a six-year-old boy?

Cristina Callao
Cristina Callao
Psychologist, sexologist and couples therapist

Young children may show curiosity about other children's bodies or about sex, but this shouldn't be alarming. The important thing is:

  • Set respectful boundaries : teach them that there are parts of the body that are private and that everyone has the right to have their boundaries respected.
  • Guide their curiosity : answer their questions naturally and without causing embarrassment, but make it clear what is appropriate and what is not.
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At what age can we start talking to children about sexual and emotional relationships?

Cristina Callao
Cristina Callao
Psychologist, sexologist and couples therapist

From an early age (3-5 years), you can talk to them about topics related to respecting their own bodies, boundaries, and healthy relationships, always adapting the information to their level of understanding. As they grow, you can introduce more complex topics such as intimacy and sexuality, making sure they receive accurate and positive information.

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They answer your questions
Psychologist, sexologist and couples therapist
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How to build healthy sexual and emotional relationships
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Cristina Callao
Cristina Callao
24 October: answers available here
This content does not replace the work of professional healthcare teams. If you think you need help, consult your usual healthcare professionals.
Publication: September 23, 2024
Last modified: November 4, 2025