How to address alcohol consumption with teenagers?

Talking about alcohol and other drugs is an integral part of home education. In fact, the family plays a fundamental preventative role: discussing these issues allows you to understand their perspective, answer their questions, and offer tools that strengthen their autonomy and responsibility, including, if necessary, practical harm reduction strategies or guidelines for using substances with the least possible risk. Initiating this dialogue will allow you to better understand what's happening, so you can offer more appropriate support.

You should consider the message your child receives when you don't say anything. They may interpret the issue as irrelevant, that you're not paying attention to what's happening to them, or that the family isn't the place to talk about these things. Therefore, addressing the issue is more beneficial than avoiding it.

Choosing the right moment is important; talking to them right after they get home after drinking is probably not the best idea. Look for a quiet, unhurried moment when you can both have a calm conversation . It can be helpful to approach it with curiosity rather than confrontation: ask how they feel about alcohol, how they experience going out, or what role drinking plays in their group of friends. The situation might not even be exactly as you imagine.

It is important to respect their privacy , their space, and their decision-making and experimentation process, but this should not become a way to avoid conversations that may be essential.

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We can begin the conversation by explaining that talking about alcohol consumption is a complex issue . While there is no such thing as risk-free drinking, some risks are associated with age, meaning they impact younger people, such as teenagers, differently. We're referring, for example, to the physical effects of consumption, the ability to handle unexpected situations, and the likelihood of developing a problematic relationship with alcohol. Sometimes, we can draw parallels with other activities that also require maturity and certain skills, such as driving.

Talking about this issue also involves examining the practices of adults at home. Reflecting as a family is always a good idea, and in this case, we can ask ourselves about our relationship with alcohol consumption. Is it a daily practice or reserved for special occasions? Are there aspects we would like to change? We can even ask how they perceive this consumption, establishing a critical and taboo-free dialogue.

While there is no such thing as risk-free consumption, some risks are associated with age, meaning they impact younger people, such as teenagers, differently.

This conversation can be an opportunity to outline some guidelines for responsible consumption in adults , such as choosing low-alcohol beverages with meals, ensuring they don't interfere with obligations or activities that are incompatible due to their risk, such as driving, etc. It's important to convey that not all consumption is the same and that there are ways to reduce risks.

Finally, we would like to emphasize the importance of avoiding contradictory messages or those that raise doubts about their purpose. It's not the same to say "alcohol is very bad" as it is to say "consuming alcohol carries risks," especially if alcohol is consumed at home. It's important that this conversation helps them gain more information and make better decisions, and to achieve this, we must be able to explain our position.

First and foremost, it's important that the messages we give are appropriate to each teenager's age, maturity, and experience . We shouldn't assume that everyone, regardless of age, always does the same things. So, the less general the conversation and the more it addresses their specific needs, the better. We can give them space to ask questions and share their particular practices related to alcohol consumption. A message tailored to their reality will always be more effective than one based on what we might think they do. Alcohol consumption is a risky activity, so we can focus on providing information and not condoning risky practices if they are drinking.

It's also important to consider what boundaries we, as a family, will agree upon . These boundaries should allow for some degree of decision-making on their part, since what we really want is for them to accept them and, therefore, take responsibility for their actions. Simply prohibiting something through a boundary we can't enforce isn't as helpful as we might initially think, as it can foster dynamics where the practices are hidden and actually become more problematic.

Simply prohibiting through a limit that we know they will not be able to comply with can fuel dynamics in which practices are hidden and actually become more problematic.

This conversation involves a delicate balance, but if alcohol consumption is involved, we could illustrate it with: "I would prefer that you didn't drink, but the decision is yours. So, if you decide to drink, it's very important to take care of yourself. And taking care of yourself isn't just about moderation, which relates to the amount, but to many other things." We can give specific and practical messages , such as:

• "At your age, drinking carries a higher risk; the safest thing is not to drink."
• "If someone ever offers you alcohol, I'd like you to know how to take care of yourself, let's talk about it."
• "If you drink alcohol, it's important to have eaten dinner and to drink water in between."
• "Don't play drinking games, respect your rhythm and your body's reaction."

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At that age, even if certain situations are objectively worrying, overly alarmist messages tend to undermine our credibility. Therefore, it's important to adjust the message you want to convey: transmit clear information, without downplaying what you've observed, but without dramatizing or causing alarm.

During adolescence, the idea of "it won't happen to me" or "this isn't serious" is very common. Rather than dwelling on the danger, a dialogue-based approach usually works better: asking her what she thinks, what she saw, how she interprets what happened to her friends, and how she feels about it. This way, it's possible to support her with useful and realistic information, strengthening her ability to take care of herself and make safer decisions.

It's important to keep in mind that the results of these conversations aren't always immediate or obvious. Patience and a gradual approach are key.

It is important to convey clear information, without downplaying what you have observed, but without dramatization or alarmism.

Adjusting our perception of risk can also be a useful strategy. When a person feels dizzy or starts vomiting, we're talking about a moderate risk ; experiencing very low energy, drowsiness, or motor difficulties after these situations is common. On the other hand, when someone faints, the risk is already high ; and if they lose consciousness or experience lapses in consciousness, we may be dealing with an alcohol-induced coma.

Talking about harm reduction guidelines is more effective than a fear-based approach. Messages like drinking slowly and at your own pace (avoiding games), not mixing different types of drinks, not drinking on an empty stomach, and alternating with water are strategies that help prevent harm and escalation to undesirable situations, including those you mentioned.

When buying alcohol for your children, what risk are you trying to avoid? If the answer is to avoid the discomfort caused by consuming the cheapest or lowest quality alcohol, we want to point out a couple of things. First, it's important to consider the type of consumption we're talking about. In the case of occasional consumption by teenagers, the discomfort is often more related to the alcohol content, the amount consumed, or the speed at which it's consumed than to its quality or price.

On the other hand, buying alcohol for your children doesn't reduce the risk of them being exposed to other types of alcohol , including the cheapest kind. Furthermore, we can go a step further and ask ourselves if buying alcohol for your children influences the other people in their friend group. Are we perhaps making it easier for others to access alcohol?

Often the discomfort has more to do with the alcohol content, the amount and the speed at which it is consumed than with the quality or price.

So, if you're worried about drinking in public, perhaps you could focus your efforts on other things that help reduce the risk of feeling unwell: pay for dinner to ensure they eat before drinking, buy ice to reduce the amount of alcohol in a drink, buy water to alternate with alcohol consumption, buy glasses to avoid mixing drinks from the bottle…

Finally, in our interventions with teenagers in party settings, we have often encountered situations where the family has bought the alcohol and perhaps bought more of it, or even drinks with a higher alcohol content, because they have thought more about their own experience than that of their sons or daughters.

In a case like this, alcohol consumption can be a manifestation of the distress associated with grief. The most effective support will involve focusing on the emotional process the individual is experiencing and reinforcing the tools and resources available to them. This includes exploring what specific support and resources are available both within and outside the school.

At the same time, it's important to explore and monitor this "symptom": when they drink, how often, and in what contexts. The goal isn't to interrogate or accuse, but to understand if this is "normal" consumption for their age, if it's starting to get out of control , or if it risks becoming a habitual way to cope with other problems.

Validating their emotions and understanding their process doesn't mean validating their substance use, but it does mean not judging them . We can offer safer alternatives for managing it: spaces for listening, activities that help them process what they're experiencing, etc.

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At the level of Catalonia there are different resources, provided by the Department of Health of the Generalitat, specific for educational centers, which you can consult, distributed by educational cycles/levels, in this link .

In addition, you will find other resources in the area linked to different municipal, supra-municipal, regional, or provincial council entities (Drug Prevention Plans, Care and Prevention Services, etc.). You can consult these services or entities in the Information System for the Prevention of Addictions and other risk behaviors (SIPA+) .

We might see that a teenager may have problematic alcohol consumption if we observe some of the following signs, which we group into different aspects.

Behavioral disturbance:

• Sudden changes in attitude or interests
• Poor academic performance or work problems
• New, unidentified friendships
• Isolation
• Repeated use of lying as a habitual mechanism
• Inability to abstain

Mood change:

• States of anger or irritability
• Signs of demotivation towards the activities that occupied the adolescent
• General disinterest

Physical alterations:

• Noticeable changes in physical appearance
• Loss of basic body and clothing hygiene habits

Other signs:

• Changes in the amount of time usually spent at home or frequent outings from home.
• Changes in the degree and quality of family communication
• Unjustified increase in economic needs
• Changes in diet
   

If a situation like this arises, I think we can do a couple of things simultaneously. On the one hand, seek professional support for your child : professionals in the field of drug addiction from plans or programs implemented in your area, such as local drug and addiction services, specialized treatment services like the CAS, or other mental health resources such as adult or youth mental health centers.

On the other hand, I think it can also be interesting, in response to the "he/she doesn't listen to me" response, to seek support in family management with professionals , parent groups, mutual support groups, family psychologists, etc., where the establishment and maintenance of limits, improvement of family communication and other issues can be addressed.

Whether or not to host a party at home is your family decision. However, before making this decision, we can ask ourselves some questions: Why do you want to have the party at home? What alternatives are there? What are the pros and cons of this option?

If we decide that they can have parties at home, it's important to establish agreements and limits, not just regarding alcohol . We should talk about responsibilities for cleaning, maintaining the privacy of the spaces, noise and respect for the neighbors, the number of people they can invite, whether or not alcohol is allowed, etc.

Depending on age, experience, maturity, etc., if we allow alcohol consumption, we can establish risk reduction guidelines . Some ideas:

• There should be water, ice, and glasses.
• There cannot be large amounts of alcohol.
• We can talk about graduations.
• There has to be food.
• No energy drinks, etc.

And regarding other substances : we can explicitly state that they are not welcome.

Finally, and as we suggested from the beginning, it's important to understand the reasons for wanting to have a party at home , as well as our own reasons for allowing it (or not). Do you think they'll just have it at someone else's house if you don't allow it? In this case, it's a good idea to talk to the other families and agree on some common ground and boundaries.

We might think it's a better option than drinking in the street, or an alternative to nightclubs they can't access because of their age or lack of transportation... We might think that this way we'll all have more control, but it's important to consider whether the proposal to let the party go on is about control or protection , and also to keep in mind that it's important for them to gradually develop their own spaces for social interaction and learning, as well as responsibility.

In short: the sooner the better , knowing that it is never too late, as long as they have the capacity to understand what we are talking about.

In a slightly more extended way, and focusing on the how, perhaps one can start by talking about other important things such as the skills to set limits, the management of emotions and feelings, the different risks according to age to exposure to other situations (driving, having a profile on social networks…), and then, as they get older, talk about other things such as peer pressure, social skills for interpersonal relationships or assertive communication, until finally introducing specific information about alcohol or the management of problems and conflicts.

In any case, we believe it's important to be clear about the objectives when speaking with them, depending on their prior experience with alcohol. That is, if they haven't yet tried it: reinforce the idea and decision not to consume alcohol, try to delay the age of initiation as much as possible, and work on self-awareness, especially regarding health aspects, particularly those that could be relevant if they do consume alcohol (illnesses or other health conditions, medication that might interact, etc.).

If they've already tried it , or rather, if they already consume it more or less regularly, a harm reduction approach might be more appropriate in this case. Ensuring that, if they decide to consume alcohol, they do so in the least harmful way for themselves and those around them can be a good intervention.

It's important that mothers, fathers, and other caregivers feel prepared for these conversations. Education, information, and being present, always within the possibilities of each family, are key to supporting children closely.

Some general ideas:

• It is important to clarify and establish the family's position (norms, limits and expectations) regarding drug use.
• Regarding limits, they must be feasible to maintain , they must involve them in terms of responsibility and, at the same time, they must be reviewed as the family context, age, etc., change.
• The information , the message, is very important, but so is the age, the context, and the maturity of each teenager.
• Whether consciously or unconsciously, adults in the family model behavior for their children. It's important to examine the discourse and practices of adults regarding alcohol consumption and ensure consistency in the messages given and the boundaries set.

It's your family's decision, but we should reflect on what the family gains from minors consuming alcohol. It's very important to keep in mind that one of the risk factors for adolescent alcohol consumption is the family's attitude towards alcohol . Therefore, we must review messages that may be given spontaneously and that trivialize the risks of consumption, such as: inviting the minor to drink, minimizing risks, associating this consumption with participation in an adult family activity, etc.

One of the risk factors for adolescent alcohol consumption is the family's attitude towards alcohol.

It may be helpful to have a conversation with the family to develop a common position on this matter and to review some practices that may be occurring spontaneously and without much thought.

Conveying the idea that alcohol is reserved for special occasions and shared with others, accompanied by food, in a setting free from obligations, etc., can be a good message. But then we need to work on what constitutes a special occasion: New Year's Eve, Carnival, friends' birthdays, local festivals, local celebrations… or every weekend?

There are already some restrictions, such as "the display of alcoholic beverages in the outdoor areas of commercial establishments, as well as on counters or in windows visible from the outside, except for commercial establishments whose sole business is the sale of alcoholic beverages." And there is a new draft law on the prevention of alcohol consumption by minors that aims to further limit exposure to alcoholic beverages and the placement of advertising for drinks with more than 0.5% alcohol by volume. But for the time being, a ban on alcoholic beverages in establishments, supermarkets, and bars is not planned.

There is still no legal framework that specifically prohibits the advertising of alcoholic beverages on social media.

And, although not specifically addressed in the question, we also believe it's important to raise the issue of whether the presence of alcoholic beverages on social media, especially on influencer profiles, should be further regulated, or even prohibited as proposed. While general advertising laws apply, and various self-imposed advertising codes of conduct exist, there is still no legal framework that specifically prohibits advertising alcoholic beverages on social media.