Can I protect my son or daughter from sexual abuse? Educating children from a very young age about sex and relationships is a way to prevent unwanted behaviors and situations because children acquire knowledge that allows them to recognize abnormal and risky behaviors.

Although protecting children is the responsibility of all of society, the family is the first environment in which this topic should be discussed, adapting the message to the child's level. Talking with our sons and daughters provides them with tools regarding biological sexuality, emotional and relational aspects, and ethical considerations, helping them to identify risky situations.

Unfortunately, many barriers still exist that prevent families from fulfilling this important role. Families have a key part to play, but it is most often underdeveloped due to a lack of preparation, taboos or shame, cultural or religious values, or by limiting it to a purely preventative approach, especially in adolescence (pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections). Many families also expect schools to perform this function, when it should be a complementary role.

So, how can we do it?

• It is important to make the conversation natural and do it gradually, as the child grows, adapting the messages to their age.
• You can use specific materials to work on affective-sexual education: stories, books, videos, etc.
• Actively listen to your son or daughter's concerns, build trust, and let them know they can always ask you anything they want.
• Don't wait until they are teenagers to talk about aspects related to sexuality and emotional relationships.
• Help them understand from a young age the difference between good secrets (those that provoke positive feelings and emotions because they don't harm anyone) and bad secrets (those that provoke negative feelings and emotions such as sadness, worry, anger because they cause harm. These are the secrets that should be told to trusted adults so they can help them).

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The Andalusian Regional Government's Ministry of Equality, Social Policies and Conciliation launched a campaign against child sexual abuse entitled "Secrets that Hurt ," providing a useful ten-point prevention guide with the following points:

1. Accompanying, caring for, and spending time with our sons and daughters so that they see us as a trustworthy adult figure who will support and protect them in any situation.
2. Try to get to know the children and adults in all the trusted environments that our children frequent.
3. Talk to them openly about sexuality and sexual violence, gradually and from an early age, so it's not a taboo subject at home. Help them understand that their bodies belong to them, and that no one can touch, caress, or kiss them if they don't want to.
4. Explain to our children that abuse can be committed by people they know or people they don't know.
5. Teach them where the private parts of both sexes are located and what they are called so that they can express their doubts or concerns about them.
6. Teach them that no one should touch their private parts and no one can ask them to touch themselves if they don't want to . If someone needs to touch them to clean or treat them, make sure they understand that if this is done in a way that makes them feel disgusted or ashamed, they should tell a trusted adult.
7. Talk about abuse whenever the opportunity arises or when we are asked.
8. Explain to them that no one should look at them, record them or photograph them naked, semi-naked or in positions that make them feel ashamed and that they can and should say NO.
9. Assure them that we will believe them if they tell us a secret that makes them feel bad, uncomfortable, or embarrassed, and that there will be no negative consequences for them.
10. Explain to them that they should share with a trusted adult the secrets and emotions that make them feel bad.

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Regarding internet use , it is important to provide children with preventative knowledge about situations they might encounter that can lead to abusive behaviors such as sextortion, which is sexual blackmail where the abuser extorts the minor into doing what they ask in exchange for not distributing images obtained through deception , or grooming, when an adult pretends to be a minor using profiles on online platforms (video games, social networks, chats, etc.) to initiate contact and a relationship of trust that allows them to abuse the minor.

This same guide from the Andalusian Regional Government points out some key points to pass on to our sons and daughters:

• Make sure your son and daughter keep their personal information secret.
• Make him understand that not everyone is who they say they are.
• Encourage him to use an alias and change his passwords often.
• Teach him to distinguish between face-to-face friendships and those we only know through social media or other online platforms.
• Warn him about the danger of meeting up with people he has met online, because they may not be who they say they are.
• Explain to them the importance of blocking profiles if they receive harmful messages, and not opening attached links, especially from people they don't know.
• If any inappropriate content opens on their screen, ask them to block it and notify you immediately.
• Just as in the non-virtual space, explain to them that if something happens to them on the Internet that makes them feel bad, they should tell a trusted adult.
• Educate in respect and reflection on messages or situations that harm another classmate so that they can act as a protective agent in a situation of cyberbullying or abuse.

Finally, and equally important, it's worth considering whether it's beneficial for our children to have their images on the internet. This is known as sharenting , the posting of children's pictures on social media. It's important to remember that we often unintentionally reveal personal information, habits, locations, and details about our children's lives, which can be used for purposes such as child pornography, cyberbullying, cyberharassment, or identity theft.