"Society needs to know that we exist and what happens to us in order to stop seeing us as the odd ones out."
Raquel didn't know until she turned 40 that she had an autism spectrum disorder, although she always suspected that something was wrong with her relationships with others and her understanding of the world around her.
"I was always a weirdo. At school, my classmates would lock me in the bathroom for hours or throw water balloons at me until I was soaked for the rest of the day." I took it for granted, as a routine, and deep down I admired them and wanted to be like them. I watched them all day. I felt I was different, so I observed them so I could imitate them . I took notes and then rehearsed at home as if it were a play... but I never managed to be like them. Over time, I began to withdraw into my own world, and when they asked me something, I would give incoherent answers. And the bullying continued and intensified, and I withdrew even more into myself.
Raquel tells us that she has always been unable to decode people's expressions.
"People would tell me things, and I was unable to tell if they were telling me to have a laugh or to get a hug. I didn't know what sarcasm and irony were, and of course, I didn't understand jokes because I didn't know they were jokes. I only recognized extreme expressions, but when something is extreme, it's usually too late to fix it."
Despite all the difficulties, she has a distinguished professional career with studies in social education, English teaching, educational psychology, and a master's degree in special education. "In a way, I tried to find the answer to what was happening to me in my studies," she explains, "Why was I different from everyone else?"
When she finally learned her diagnosis, she focused on understanding what was happening to her and what it meant, becoming a mental health activist with the desire to represent the autism spectrum community, whatever their level, and to try to raise awareness in society about autism, mental health, and the different disorders that constitute neurodiversity: " Cognitive disability is often forgotten, and the need for real universal accessibility and the adaptation of processes and protocols in all public sectors of a person's life must be asserted."
Raquel is a co-founder of the Committee for the Promotion and Support of Autistic Women – CEPAMA , of the ASSOTEA Association (Association of families of people with autism in the Baix Llobregat Nord region), a speaker and collaborator of Asperger New Life , a collaborating partner of Asperger Catalunya and currently works at the Catalan Federation of Autism .
The consequences of knowing the adult diagnosis
For Raquel, living her whole life without a diagnosis means "carrying a heavy burden of anxiety, frustration, anger, rage, internalized guilt, and making an extra effort to adapt to jobs and daily family life. You fall into depression and anxiety, you have difficulties in communication and social interaction, in flexibility of thought, and in personal behavior."
“Suddenly, you start to put names to many things you didn’t understand, to be able to organize things, to see your life from a completely different perspective,” she tells us. For Raquel, receiving an early diagnosis improves quality of life, but she maintains that many mistakes are still being made: “There is a lot of stigma, prejudice, and people don’t receive the support and services tailored to their needs, and that generates a lot of emotional distress and low self-esteem.”
I've been diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder in adulthood… Now what?
Raquel constantly talks about diversity, about the need for society to open itself up to accepting this diversity so that everyone has their space and can find their path and happiness. In the case of women, she explains, things get more complicated.
"Not even 10% of women with ASD disclose their condition for fear of losing their jobs." She explains that, in fact, "there is underdiagnosis of autistic women because we have different characteristics."
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