"My message is that everything passes, no problem is permanent."

"I want to help others precisely because I've gotten this far." This is quite a statement of intent from someone who, at just 14 years old, has survived two suicide attempts and who, despite the rollercoaster ride of the recovery process, is certain that everything passes and that it's possible to overcome this situation.

We'll call her Julia, the most common name given to thousands of girls born in Spain in the same year as her, because her case, far from being a rarity, is sadly a very real issue among pre-adolescents, adolescents, and young adults. Suicide was already the leading cause of death among adolescents worldwide, but the COVID-19 pandemic has been devastating for the mental health of this population group, and suicide attempts, self-harm, and other mental health problems, such as eating disorders, have surfaced like never before.

The least important aspect of Julia's story is understanding what led her to suicidal behavior, because the causes are numerous and complex, almost always related to highly stressful life events or mental health problems. The most important thing about this testimony is understanding that Julia could be you—your friend, your daughter—and that talking openly about this issue, recognizing the warning signs, and asking for help can save many lives.

"I've been able to reach the recovery phase after many falls and struggles," Julia tells us. "Sometimes I have thoughts and crises, which is normal, but if I've been able to get through it, I think anyone can. My message is that it's possible, even if it's difficult."

Give yourself time to recover

The lockdown and social restrictions have been the spark that ignited personal situations that had been simmering for some time. In Julia's case, it started in fifth or sixth grade, when she was 10 or 11 years old. "I began to feel isolated from others, which made me mature faster, and many things came together," Julia explains. "That's when the self-harm began." This young woman, with a timid but powerful voice, brings to the forefront one of the major challenges in mental health: the stigma surrounding it and the silence surrounding it.

"If we talked about it from childhood, we wouldn't be so surprised when a mental health problem arises, when you don't understand what's happening to you. This doesn't happen with other illnesses, which children are able to understand and recognize," Julia points out.

Julia had been receiving psychological help since she began self-harming, but everything changed when the lockdown arrived: hours of confinement in her room, no social interaction, and a disrupted eating and sleeping routine. "At that time I thought I was doing very well, but looking back, I now realize that I was in a very bad place and I didn't even realize it," explains this lover of music and dance.

The attempt to resume a "normal" life after lockdown was a freefall for Julia, someone with difficulties relating to others and a pre-existing mental health condition. "I remember August, when we went back to my hometown, as the worst month. I started self-harming daily again, and I just kept getting worse," Julia recalls.

7 steps to create your personal safety plan

In October 2020, Julia made her first suicide attempt, which she repeated a little over a month later. "I stopped taking the medication I was on because it wasn't making me feel well; I felt like I was being fake," Julia explains, "and the daily self-harm returned, and I started feeling very bad. I even told my psychologist. She said that if I didn't improve my mood, they would have to admit me for help, but before that could happen, I tried to take my own life. I had no hope; I didn't want to go on."

After a few weeks in the hospital, Julia continues her recovery process in a day hospital. She still has "ups and downs," as she calls them, but she is certain that recovery is possible.

"For me, thinking about how much I can endure has worked because this thought helps me give myself room to recover," she explains, as a personal challenge. "Everything passes, the good and the bad. Nothing is permanent and everything is always fluctuating," she adds.

There is no magic formula, each person is different, but Julia names the pillars on which she is building her life: "wanting to be well with myself, loving myself; accepting and understanding that what has happened to me is not a simple cold, it is something important in my life that needs a process and recovery work; talking and talking, about what I need and what I feel; finding things that motivate me and holding on to the people around me, those who in this situation have really been present to help me."