"There is still little understanding about what it means to live with a person with autism."

"Josep is my son, who is currently 14 years old, and he has autism spectrum disorder. Well, the truth is that he's a son we weren't expecting. When he was born, we had certain expectations about what he would be like; that's something all parents do, fantasize about the people their children will become. But, little by little, we realized that Josep wouldn't be that dream son because we started to see a series of differences or oddities, especially in relation to his older sister, that surprised us."

"I decided it was worth sharing our story because society needs to understand that not everyone is the same, that people with ASD need society to understand them, even more than others, because they face a number of difficulties living in this society that we, the 'normal' ones, have built. There comes a point when those of us who live with people who are different and who have a disorder that needs to be made public feel this need to explain what it is and what our son's life is like , in this case."

Laura Collado Quífer

Mother of Xavi, who has autism spectrum disorder

"I've decided to focus on the day-to-day with my son, without worrying about things that might not happen."

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For me, the key is understanding autism spectrum disorder. A better understanding is essential for people who are different to be taken into account. If you know this reality exists and you understand it, you'll consider it in your daily life. The problem is that we forget this reality exists because it's not something we see around us.

I'm not an autism professional, but rather the mother of a boy with autism. I believe what I can contribute is to explain firsthand what it means to live with Josep, to be a bit of a spokesperson, as a family member who experiences it firsthand.

La familia de Josep comparte el día a día de este chico valiente. Foto: Instagram @josepvalent

"We are at a time when autism is much better known than before, the symptoms or characteristics of people with autism are better understood, but there is still little understanding of what autism means and what it means to live with it ."

I believe the only way to truly understand it is through experience, emotion, and feelings.

That is the spirit of my book, to convey these emotions and feelings in a way that someone without experience in this subject can come to understand it better.

Society's understanding of this reality has a direct impact on people with ASD because they don't live in isolation; they live with us. If people understand their needs, it will be easier to adapt everything that makes up social life, from products and services to behaviors and communication. Often, what people with autism need is a little calm and time to process the information we give them, to process what we've said, what they observe, and to be able to act. Timing is key, since people with ASD tend to act more slowly.

Being happy with the unexpected child

"Yes, in a way it's like a grieving process for the child you won't have. You have to understand that, at first, when you receive the diagnosis, it's like an abyss . You're devastated by the news, you don't know what to do. But, little by little, you surround yourself with professionals and you learn things. It's a long process, but the day comes when you realize that this is your life and that you're happy with it, that you've managed to overcome it in a way. Perhaps it's not the child you expected, but there's the child you are, and he can make you very happy, and he can be happy too."

"Josep is a very brave person because, despite the many things he doesn't understand, he dares to try, within his limitations and with prudence. He dares to live, to get up and try to be happy. The hashtag we use in our project, #Josepvalent (Josep Brave), comes from this courage. I greatly admire his ability to enjoy the things he likes. In this sense, he has no fears or prejudices. His capacity to enjoy life is very enviable and makes me think that perhaps I, too, should enjoy life more."

"Josep is entering adolescence, and we have noticed some changes. For example, we've noticed that his temper is a bit more explosive now. Ultimately, as is common with teenagers, it's a time when they're trying to forge their identity, and there's that element of rebellion against their parents. Naturally, in Josep's case, we can't compare him to a typical teenager, but we have detected that rebellious streak ."

I think one of the challenges he faces is precisely for us to understand that he is growing and evolving, that he is getting older. The thing is, with people with autism spectrum disorder or other types of difficulties, we tend to treat them as if they were always children, and that shouldn't be the case because, if you observe them, there are real changes, and therefore it's necessary that you also act according to these changes.

The adolescent with autism spectrum disorder

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"Caregivers, any caregiver, experience a lot of physical and emotional strain and need rest, respite, time for themselves, to do the things they enjoy; that's essential. Families living with children with autism need these breaks. We try to find time with our daughters, apart from Josep, so we can rest or do things as a family that we can't do when we're all together. These moments are very valuable; they're moments that allow you to escape from your daily caregiving routine."

"What you learn is that it's essential to adapt to life's circumstances. Society instills in us this lifestyle where we have to set goals, achieve objectives, and go full speed ahead to reach them, but obstacles always arise. In our case, the obstacle has been autism, but it can be many other things that we must overcome. In this sense, it's important to surround yourself with the right people and understand that the journey is more important than the destination (even though you may have one); this is what allows you to live with coherence and happiness, despite the obstacles."

"To those families who may be facing this difficult time, I would say that I absolutely understand their devastation, their feeling, as I often say, of 'game over ,' that the game is over, that nothing will ever be the same. This feeling must be accepted and understood by those around the family. From here, I would tell them that it will be a long road to find a point where they are okay, but it is worth it. They will eventually see very positive things, and above all, they shouldn't rush things but carefully observe how their child learns, how they develop, and adapt to it. The key is adaptation and wanting to see that progress, which, however small and slow, is there."