"Teenagers need us to set limits for them so they can cross them."

"In general terms, it's the stage where people leave childhood behind, a time when they were completely dependent on the adults in their lives. They move into adulthood, where they become autonomous and independent individuals."

Adolescence has a 100% biological origin. The genetic clock triggers hormonal surges. The most visible are those related to the body and sexuality, but in reality, they affect many other parts of our body, such as the brain.

For adolescence to occur, at a biological level, adolescents must eliminate the neural connections that made them gullible children. This is known as neuronal pruning. At the same time, they must create new neural connections.

But it's not a synchronous process, and this generates the ups and downs so typical of adolescence, in which they sometimes seem like adults and sometimes like children."

"The adolescent brain functions like any other brain, but with characteristics that make it special and that are good to know. When I talk about the adolescent brain, I like to talk about three areas:

• The amygdala : the center that generates emotions, which are the basic instinctive and impulsive reactions, key to survival. Therefore, any situation triggers all their emotional responses much more intensely. Biologically, this is essential: they are beginning to fly alone for the first time, in a world full of threats, and it is crucial for them to have their emotions running high because they still lack the experience and protection that adults accumulate.
• The prefrontal cortex: manages more complex behaviors, such as planning, decision-making, and emotional regulation. Adolescents have less functional prefrontal cortex than adults or children.
• The striatum: the area that provides sensations of reward and pleasure in what we do. Teenagers discover that they are able to activate it at will. Therefore, they seek out activities that stimulate this sensation, which can range from spending time with friends to engaging in extreme risk activities that test them.

Encourage adolescents to have confidence in themselves

"It's a stage that generally scares parents, but it's an inevitable and very healthy stage. And our role is key."

Teenagers question everything they've learned during childhood to assess whether it will also benefit them as adults. And how do they question it? By examining the boundaries and looking at what lies beyond. They need us to set limits so they can cross them .

"As parents, we must make them understand that there are dangerous acts that can harm them and that there are irrevocable consequences. We must help them accept the consequences of the decisions they make, through support and care that is not overprotective."

But we also have to consider the type of teenager we're dealing with. Those who are more outgoing need a close watch to prevent them from getting hurt. If they're more introverted, perhaps the first time they push the boundaries we should congratulate them (without them noticing too much) because it's good for developing their critical thinking skills.

Above all, you need to convey confidence with something as simple as a smile. They need to believe in themselves. The only way to do that is for you, as the adult, to believe in them too.

The basic emotion for establishing a healthy relationship is joy, which doesn't mean always being happy, but rather living in a relaxed way, with a lively, optimistic outlook, which is what conveys this trust. And this is largely determined by the relationship built over all the previous years.

"Of course! The real work begins in early childhood: the first 3 or 4 years of life mark them more than all the following years until adolescence."

We distinguish two types of parenthood:

• Negative parenting , with little warmth from the adults in their lives, little support for their children, or extreme situations such as abandonment or hatred towards them.
• Positive parenting, in which children feel emotional support and protection from adults, and there is consistency between reprimands and rewards. But be careful not to go to the extreme of being overprotective, as this doesn't help them mature either. Children need to experience things, fall down, scrape their knees, get pricked by thorns... It's the only way they learn. And managing pain is a skill they must learn throughout life.

In general, children who have experienced negative parenting find it harder to find motivation when they reach adolescence. They are less curious and more predisposed to depression, for example. It must be said, however, that everything is reversible and can be improved. It's just that the older they get, the harder it is to redirect. And we must also accept that we can never guarantee that it can be 100% reversed.

A stage marked by biology and culture

"Adolescence generally begins between the ages of 11 and 13, more or less when they transition to secondary school. In girls it starts earlier, but on average, we're talking about this age range."

It's another thing entirely if they socially imitate adolescent behaviors at a younger age. In this case, if it's very exaggerated or involves truly atypical behavior for their age, it's necessary to redirect it. But we must keep in mind that we learn by imitation, so it wouldn't be so serious after all.

"The end of adolescence is a mix of biology and culture. It is necessary that the brain has matured, that it has left behind childish behaviors and developed the behaviors of an autonomous person, capable of making decisions, facing mistakes, etc."

This stage of maturation can be placed around age 18, on average, although there is considerable variability. However, cultural factors play a significant role. It's not just the brain that needs to mature, but also the behaviors associated with adulthood.

Studies show that adolescents only stop behaving like adolescents when their environment recognizes them as equals in rights and obligations.

This is very difficult! Because we have them in high school where they have to listen to the teachers. Or even at university, where they are sometimes still treated as if they weren't adults.

Or families, who have a key and very difficult role here. How do you truly give rights and obligations to a son or daughter who continues to live at home? If cohabitation is managed well, it shouldn't be a problem. The difficulty arises when parents want to remain the only adults in the house, unilaterally imposing the same old rules and not allowing their children to behave like adults.

"Sure. Conceptually, today's teenagers do the same things they've always done; what changes is the context. And we remember little of when we were teenagers and the doubts and uncertainties we had."

We believe that everything we did was geared towards becoming who we are now, as if we had a crystal-clear life goal and a linear path. This isn't true. Very few people, especially in adolescence, have a clear life goal.

The prejudice against adolescence is ageless. There are texts attributed to Aristotle that already state that new generations are worse than those of the past. If this were true, we would no longer exist as a species.

"Genes have an influence. Of the 20,300 genes in our genome, we have about 8,000 that, at one time or another, act within the brain and, therefore, are contributing to how it functions."

These brain-related genes predispose individuals to certain types of behavior, but they are not deterministic. These predispositions, known as heritability, can vary between 30 and 70%. If we take an average of 50%, it doesn't mean that half of that trait is unchangeable.

The external environment can either enhance or diminish these genetic characteristics. Therefore, the influence of the environment is always greater than that of genetics, regardless of the percentages.

If a person has a strong predisposition to resilience, but their environment constantly crushes them, it will do them little good. If there is a genetic predisposition to depression, but they have positive support from their environment, the likelihood of developing it will greatly decrease.

"I think it's the feeling of being comfortable enough with yourself, with what you do, and with the environment you're in. It doesn't mean feeling happy all the time, but when you're not, knowing what you need to change about yourself or your environment, or how you can adapt to regain your composure."

If we're talking about biological disorders, we need to address the biological factors. But if it's a behavioral or environmental disorder, we need to address the environmental factors.

For example, hyperactivity. It is said that hyperactivity was favored by natural selection during the Paleolithic era, when we were hunters and gatherers, and those who were more active survived better.

But nowadays, it bothers people. Why does it bother us so much when a child or young person is active? Perhaps the problem isn't with them, but with a system that forces us to sit still for five hours in a classroom. What if we encouraged them to move around more? Well, we would probably have happier kids, in a happier environment, and with better mental health.