Why? How was this back to school experience?
"When he returned to school he was still in a very complex phase of his illness. The first day he came to class we were aware of its seriousness. Fortunately, we had received very clear instructions from the Hospital on what to do in many of the situations that could arise: if he self-harmed, if he asked to go to the toilet, if he got anxious... We also talked about the subject with the students beforehand, so that they were prepared. In no case, however, did we want to make them responsible for the situation. And we wanted them to be clear about that. We knew the theory, but we didn't know if we would be able to put it into practice.
It was also difficult, because she had always been an exemplary student. Before the illness, we never had to tell her what not to do, because she always had fantastic behavior. Now we found ourselves in a situation where we had to say "no" to some things, and it was very difficult for us to do so. For example, during the first weeks at school, she never sat in a chair, she was always standing. Even if we put her in the front row, she always stayed standing, even if it prevented the visibility of her classmates. To tell her to sit, we had to be forceful, because if not, at the very least, she would get up again.
Estela (teacher in the Eating Disorders Unit at Hospital Sant Joan de Déu Barcelona) gave us some advice that has been very useful to us in accompanying her throughout this process, which we use every time we have to tell her something forcefully. She told us that she had two people inside her, one was the person we knew and that we know and the other was her illness. The illness-person ruled the real person. and, although she wanted to do some things with all her strength, such as sitting down, the illness did not let her do it.
Knowing that we were reacting forcefully with the illness and not with it helped us a lot in knowing how to act and having the courage to do so. It seems silly, but for us it has been one of the most important lessons in all of this. Saying "you can't do that" to the illness through her has been our way of helping her so that she too can face it and say no.
Another of the most difficult things for us was knowing what was the best way to support the family."