What can help us during the recovery process?
What fears did you have before starting treatment?
What fears did you have before starting treatment?
My biggest fear was getting stuck in the eating disorder itself and not seeing any progress. The first thing that came to mind was that I'd always be in that cycle . It's true that recovery is long, and it might stay with you for the rest of your life, but after all, I've learned that you have to trust in progress and evolution, and you have to be aware that every step you take is a small victory. On the other hand, I was afraid of exposing myself to others; the common thought of "what will they say?", and also of not being the person I was before, or that people would treat me more sensitively because of what I'd been through. What I didn't want was for people to look at me with pity. But thanks to this, I've learned to value myself and to see that other people's opinions shouldn't influence who you are. When I understood this, a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders.
My biggest fear was gaining a lot of weight; the thought of having to follow strict dietary guidelines, not being able to control what I ate or didn't eat, not knowing the calorie content of each food, and, of course, being forbidden from exercising, which at that time was the only way for me to burn off everything I ate to "look better." Besides, the thought of having to be in a center , unable to live a completely normal life, terrified me; everything depended on my treatment and what the therapists told my family.
Fears that surface during the recovery process from an eating disorder
What helped you overcome the most difficult moments during this recovery process?
What helped you overcome the most difficult moments during this recovery process?
Without a doubt, art . At my lowest point, I was fortunate enough to discover a crucial tool for my growth. When I couldn't express my feelings with words, I would write . I love to write; I noticed that when I put what I felt on paper, I could express myself much better. In addition to this, drawing also helped me convey all my emotions through brushstrokes and lines. A drawing could reveal a lot about my state of mind during the toughest times, which greatly helped the people around me understand my situation. On the other hand, peer therapy also helped me understand that I'm not the only one going through this, and being able to meet people who were going through the same process helped me feel understood.
What helped me most was my family support , for which I will always be grateful, because having people around you who understand you, or at least try to, is a fundamental pillar in the process, as they know how to act in every situation. Another thing I want to highlight are the therapies and workshops I participated in at the day hospital, as they were designed to help me understand the reasons behind my thoughts and emotions, and how to cope with them. And last but not least, the trust and warmth that the therapists, nurses, and healthcare staff in general conveyed to me; creating that bond with these people makes your stay much more pleasant.
Becoming aware that you have a disorder is essential to begin your recovery. What made you realize you needed help? What made it "click" for you?
Becoming aware that you have a disorder is essential to begin your recovery. What made you realize you needed help? What made it "click" for you?
At first, it was my parents who realized something was wrong, that I needed help. At that time, I wasn't aware of what was happening to me; I looked fine, in fact, I felt comfortable in my own skin, more and more so. But when I stood before the nurse and she told me I had an eating disorder, all my alarm bells went off. That moment was crucial, because not only had I been diagnosed with an eating disorder, but I was also borderline on my body mass index (BMI), which indicated that if there was no improvement, I would be hospitalized. It was there that it finally clicked, and I truly realized I needed help, because I was carrying an enormous weight . I couldn't continue with that internal control; the situation was overwhelming me, and a part of me wanted to recover, however difficult and costly it might be.
In fact, I think it's the key to moving forward in the process, because once you start to become aware of the problem you have and all the drawbacks it's causing in your life , that's when it "clicks," because you see that things aren't going well, and that all the behaviors you thought would lead you to a goal that would make you feel better, actually don't work. On the contrary, they make you feel increasingly empty, more incapable, sad, tired, and physically worse. For me, after many years, what made me say "enough" was seeing how, while I remained stuck in the same place , in the same conditions, with the same thoughts and problems, the people around me, with whom I'd spent my entire childhood, continued with their lives, their studies, their friendships, having fun and growing, creating new experiences that, because of my circumstances, have been delayed for so many years.
What were your main motivations during the process?
What were your main motivations during the process?
When I started therapy with a peer group —that is, with people who were going through the same thing as me—it really helped me a lot to understand what was happening to me, but above all, to be understood. It helped me see that I wasn't alone , that I had many people around me who could help. Finding people who had gone through or were going through a similar process helped me to better express my emotions and how I felt inside, without fear of being judged. But, without a doubt, what really pushed me to change was being hospitalized . At that point, I felt overwhelmed by all the obstacles, and I couldn't go on on my own anymore; I needed extra help.
Tips to motivate yourself and maintain good habits
Being able to resume my studies and work , being able to be independent without anyone controlling my every move, without rules, going out and having fun while setting my own limits; and also being able to eat something whenever I want without being held back by fear, and knowing when to stop eating; being able to have dinner out without following any restrictive or controlled diet. Another motivation was going back to the gym , which was incredibly rewarding, since it's difficult during treatment, but it's actually a healthy activity if done in moderation. It's a great escape for me, and I enjoy it, and I'm proud to have been able to take control of it, knowing when to stop without getting frustrated because I haven't burned any calories, and seeing it as a positive way to rest.
Learning to manage emotions is also an important part of treatment. What strategies do you use to achieve good emotional management?
Learning to manage emotions is also an important part of treatment. What strategies do you use to achieve good emotional management?
I believe the key is asking for help. At the beginning of my journey, I thought I could get through it on my own, but once you're in recovery, I think it's essential to ask for help from those around you , whether family, friends, or professionals. In my case, it was very difficult, as asking for help scared me and made communication difficult. That's why I found refuge in art therapy , which allowed me to express myself without speaking. Communication is key to managing your feelings emotionally, but this doesn't mean you can only communicate verbally; there are other avenues such as music, art, or writing, among many others.
Emotional self-regulation in psychotic disorders
The most important thing for me has always been, and still is , identifying why I'm feeling a certain way so I can act accordingly . I seek distractions that allow me to be calm and focused on what I'm doing, so I can think as little as possible about my low moods or negative thoughts. Another way is to externalize what I feel, to talk about it with someone I trust who I know will be all ears and won't judge me, because holding onto all the bad things in my head ultimately doesn't help and only creates more anxiety. If you hold onto what worries you and don't know how to manage it, it will eventually explode. This way, I can also get another perspective that might help me see the problem from a different angle and bring me back to my senses, or at least calm me down.
What role did your environment play during your treatment and recovery process? How did they help you, and how didn't they?
What role did your environment play during your treatment and recovery process? How did they help you, and how didn't they?
When you're in recovery, in addition to seeking support from those around you, it's crucial that your support network also has access to professional, external help. It's an unexpected situation, and life doesn't prepare you for these moments. We're used to preparing only for good things, but no one can mentally prepare you for these situations. Therefore, it's important that both you and your support network seek help to move forward and learn how to react or try to understand each situation. Despite everything, your family and friends are a great support during these times , and you should trust them to help you from a more positive perspective.
Well, I think they played every role imaginable. They've always been a great support, helping me throughout the entire process, both physically and psychologically. They tried to understand me at every moment and why I felt the way I did. My friends were always there for me, listening and trying to understand what I was going through, what I felt and explained to them, no matter how strange it sounded to them, and they never judged me. It's true that in the end, after so many years in treatment, many of my friends moved on with their lives and I ended up losing them, but I don't feel bad about that. Just as I've lost many people along the way, the treatment has opened the door to meeting many people who are now fundamental in my life. My family adapted completely to the treatment ; they attended all the interviews and all the educational workshops. And they never gave up on looking after my health, even though my behavior at home, being ill, was very difficult to manage. This is something I will always be grateful to them for.
What would you say to someone who is currently in treatment for an eating disorder?
What would you say to someone who is currently in treatment for an eating disorder?
You are not alone. At first, things may seem very dark, but you shouldn't dwell on that abyss. Instead, look for the small glimmers of hope that can be crucial for positive progress in your recovery. You may not feel comfortable talking about this with family members, so I recommend seeking professional help to have an external perspective. And if you have the opportunity to participate in group therapy with peers , don't hesitate to do so, because it's a very powerful tool for feeling understood.
Believe it or not, the treatment will help you move forward with your life. No one is working against you; they are simply trying to guide you toward a better life. Let yourself be guided and supported by the professionals , who are only looking out for your health and your future. Listen and try to understand what you are going through, and express as much as possible what's on your mind , because we can easily get into trouble when we're stuck in a loop with something that makes us feel bad. If we don't communicate, it can lead to behaviors that endanger our health. We must appreciate how privileged we are to be able to receive treatment. It is important, therefore, that you trust the professionals who are supporting you through the process, but also your parents , who want nothing more than to see their son or daughter grow up healthy, develop, and build their own life. And finally, she should have confidence in herself , because she is surely a person with a lot of potential, with a lot of future opportunities and a world that is waiting for her, so that a small bump in the road doesn't ruin her whole life.