What to do if someone close to you has suicidal thoughts?
Suicide is a social and public health problem that we must address urgently, as more than 700,000 people die by suicide worldwide each year, according to the WHO. In Spain, 4,003 people died by suicide in 2021, the highest figure since records began. This represents a 1.6% increase compared to 2020 ( Suicide Observatory in Spain 2021 , Spanish Foundation for Suicide Prevention).
There are many myths about suicide, and one of the most common is that talking about suicide can encourage it. This is completely false . Most people who contemplate suicide experience intense emotional distress and don't know how to cope or with whom to share it. Talking about it can be an opportunity to prevent suicide and can offer the person an alternative perspective on the situation.
Talking about suicide, therefore, is an effective prevention tool , and it helps to break the stigma surrounding it, which is a barrier to asking for and obtaining help.
People who have suicidal thoughts often give us warning signs that we can recognize. What are these signs? What can we do if we notice them? Where can we get help?
What signs can I detect?
Warning signs are a series of indicators that suggest a risk of suicide and allow for early intervention and prevention. It is important to recognize them in order to minimize that risk.
There are two types of warning signs:
Verbal warning signs
Phrases like:
- I'm worthless.
- You'd be better off without me.
- I am useless.
- My problem is beyond repair.
- I want to end it all.
- I would like to disappear.
- I want to rest.
- I don't want to go on living.
- I wonder what life would be like if I were dead.
- I want to take my own life, but I don't know how.
- Nobody loves me and it's better to die.
- It's not worth going on living.
Nonverbal warning signs
Unusual behaviors:
- Mood swings (irritability, apathy, aggressiveness).
- Social and family isolation, changes in schedules in their habits and way of life.
- Widespread disinterest.
- Sudden consumption or increase in toxic substances or alcohol.
- Gift of belongings, cherished or valuable objects, or transfer of pets.
- Drafting a will, unexpected visits to family members or close friends; putting things in order or handling administrative tasks.
- Self-harm.
- Lack of interest in work, loved ones, or hobbies.
- Unjustified or disproportionate spending of money.
Physical Signs:
- Neglect of image, appearance, clothing and personal hygiene.
- Manifestations of persistent physical discomfort such as chronic pain.
- Worsening of symptoms of any mental disorders you may have.
- Weight loss or gain due to loss or increase of appetite.
Keys to preventing suicidal behavior
How can I help the person if I notice these signs?
- Offer your support by listening: if a loved one has thoughts of dying or has attempted suicide, feeling heard is more important than receiving direct advice.
- Stay with them . The presence of someone close is often reassuring. Spend as much time as possible with that person and make sure other people in their life can be there for them at different times of the day. You can create a schedule among your closest friends and family to ensure everyone can dedicate time to them.
- Avoid using clichés or false expectations . Clichés like "you have to be strong" or "everything will get better" could actually increase the person's distress, as they may feel misunderstood. Understanding their suffering and giving them space to express their pain is more beneficial.
- Offer concrete help. Avoid vague or general suggestions like "I'm here if you need me." Instead, propose something specific, realistic, and motivating, such as: "I've arranged everything for you to come to my house this weekend; we'll spend the day together."
Where can I go for help?
Alongside this personal support, we should also seek help from a mental health professional. The procedure for accessing mental health care within the public system in Spain is to visit your primary care physician and inform them of the situation, so they can assess the situation and make a referral to mental health services, which are usually located within the primary care center itself.
We must always keep in mind the different resources available to us for help if we believe someone close to us is at risk of suicide. In Spain:
- Call 024: telephone helpline for people with suicidal thoughts, ideas, or risk of suicidal behavior. It is a free service 24 hours a day.
- Call 061: Salut Respon. If you have suicidal thoughts but it is not an emergency situation (Catalonia).
- Call 900 925 555 : Suicide prevention hotline, Barcelona City Council. Free.
- Call 112: Emergency service. In case of suicidal risk or suicidal behavior in an emergency situation.
- Telephone of Hope ( 914 590 055 / 717 003 717 ): A resource where you can find support if you are having suicidal thoughts.
- Consult the emergency department of your local hospital.
You can find the resources for each country at this link .
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