Talking about the war with minors from Ukraine

Armed conflicts have a significant impact on all people involved in them, not only because of the loss of thousands of lives and the material destruction of the cities where they live, but also because of the profound change in their daily reality.

At a time when Spain is receiving thousands of child refugees from Ukraine— more than 7,100 according to the Ministry of Education— the Official College of Psychologists of Madrid has published a guide to help reduce the psychological impact of war on children and adolescents . This guide offers strategies and guidelines for professionals and volunteers working with these children and for foster families.

It is no coincidence that children are disproportionately affected by war. Childhood and adolescence are vital stages for personal development and future adulthood, during which we form our belief systems about the world. War erupts at this time with immense uncertainty and fear, disrupting children's routines (schooling, peer relationships) and depriving them of the safe environment so essential for their healthy development.

Children and adolescents living through armed conflict need information about what war is and what is happening, because this will enable them to better cope with the situation, understand and follow instructions (especially those related to their safety), and express their feelings and fears.

When talking to children about war, it's important for adults to remain calm and as much control as possible over their own emotional distress, while still maintaining warmth and closeness with them. We should first ask them what they know about what's happening, and also what they want to know, adapting our response to their age and providing them with clear and concise information.

For younger children, up to about 3 years old, we should give clear, simple messages, accompanied by examples, and conveying affection and security. As they get older, they also need clear instructions to automatically perform protective behaviors and safety procedures in case of risk. Stories are a very useful tool at these ages for explaining what is happening.

Teenagers can now take in information about what is happening, always respecting how much they want to know, and they can be included in the search for solutions to specific problems.

In all cases, it is very important to create spaces where children can share their fears and feelings with adults , and to show that we are available to address any future doubts or concerns. By conveying reassuring messages , valuing their efforts and praising their achievements , however small, and encouraging them to communicate their emotions and worries, we can help create that protective and emotionally secure environment so necessary during childhood and adolescence.