Small achievements to move towards well-being
When you're depressed, focusing on small achievements is crucial for moving forward: simply getting to the shower and feeling the water run over your body, or being able to read a few pages of a book, become two significant steps in the recovery process. Furthermore, taking even a small step can lead to achieving other goals. These initial accomplishments, which become easier to achieve over time, are more beneficial than we might think.
Sometimes it's hard to think of activities you enjoy or are capable of doing, as indecision often interferes with your ability to act and hinders you from achieving your goals. In that case, you can choose the activity you find least unpleasant . Ideally, everyone should consider what activities will make them feel good: listening to music, drawing, writing... And finding a partner can be an incentive to do them, whether it's a professional, your significant other, a friend, or a mutual support group. The important thing is not to become inactive and to keep in mind that if you can't do anything one day, it's okay, you can continue the next day.
Why do I sabotage myself when I see that I'm improving?
Step by step, slowly, small achievements can be made, which will lead to an improvement in well-being. When these achievements become habits, when they require less effort, other activities can be incorporated.
Some proposals and strategies
Relationships and schedules
Interpersonal relationships can sometimes be very challenging for someone with depression. Therefore, it can be beneficial to participate in a workshop (painting, crafts, mindfulness , laughter therapy, Zumba, a book club, etc.), which will not only help you meet other people but also help you regulate your eating and sleeping schedules, something that will surely contribute to improving your well-being.
Short and medium term objectives
To achieve these small victories, it might be helpful to make a list of short-term goals , such as: reading, taking a shower, going for a walk, watching an episode of a series, talking to a friend, drawing, listening to a radio program… Once you've achieved these, you can add other activities , perhaps a little more challenging, to reach your medium-term goals: going to the hairdresser, playing with your children, getting some sun, joining a gym, signing up for a workshop, doing small shopping trips to force yourself to go out every day, planning a hobby, sitting on a terrace for a drink… And, if it's been a while since you've been outside, try doing it while listening to music with headphones.
You can start with small, short-term goals and gradually incorporate more challenging activities, at your own pace, little by little.
The feeling of emptiness
Feelings of emptiness can also lead to discouragement, so it's wise to address conflicts before they overwhelm you , or even to end relationships that are beyond repair. If you feel overwhelmed by a problem, you should try to resolve it, asking for help from others if necessary. Here's a tip: when you're lying in bed, unsure what to do, try recalling positive things that bring you comfort—pleasant images, memories, smells, and so on.
What can help us feel better when we have depression?
Emotion regulation
Regulating our emotions is key to improving our well-being. We must observe the emotion, feel its presence, take a step back, distance ourselves from it, and not let it engulf us . We should try to experience the emotion like a wave that comes and goes. We shouldn't try to block it or get rid of it, but neither should we amplify it; we should let it pass. When we feel guilt or shame (if it's justified), we can apologize, and if that's not possible, we can commit to avoiding the mistake in the future.
If we feel sadness , we should not avoid it, but rather try to do things that make us feel fulfilled and gradually reduce the time in which we feel sad.
If we feel anger , we should not dwell on this feeling and should practice empathy with other people, trying to understand that they may be going through a bad time or have gone through difficult circumstances in life.
Step by step, slowly, small achievements can be made, which will lead to an improvement in well-being.
Sometimes we're overwhelmed by thoughts that prevent us from taking action. We should try to minimize phrases like "I'm such a bad person that I don't deserve this," "I won't do well," "They don't like me," "I won't be able to handle the pressure"... and remember that they're just in our heads.
Therefore, it's best not to set grand goals or overly ambitious projects that we might not be able to achieve, nor to think about the long-term future. It's more effective to focus on the day-to-day and on small goals and activities to win small battles.
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