The need for the other
When asked during their teenage years, a group of over 700 teenagers in Boston (USA) in the 1930s stated that fame, money, or a good job would be the keys to a successful future. Perhaps not so different from what many teenagers would say if we asked them now, almost a century later.
But it has taken 80 years of study by one of the most prestigious universities in the world to debunk the myth and reveal to us the essential nutrient of a full life: the bond with the other.
A study conducted by Harvard University over nearly 80 years with the aim of determining what keeps people healthy and happy, points to a significant finding: enjoying positive social connections protects people , helps delay physical and mental decline, and is an indispensable element for having healthy and happy lives, much more so than social class, IQ, or even genes.
The study, which is still ongoing, began in 1938 with a sample of 724 boys, who have been followed year after year through questionnaires, interviews, and medical reports. Although girls were not included due to the social context in which the study began (there were no women at Harvard), boys from two very different backgrounds did participate: students from Harvard College and boys from the poorest neighborhoods of Boston.
In both cases, "the most surprising finding is that our relationships and how happy we feel in them have a powerful influence on our health," says Robert Waldinger, the study's director, a psychiatrist at Massachusetts General Hospital and professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School . "Taking care of your body is important, but taking care of your relationships is a powerful form of self-care." Waldinger clarifies that, when it comes to relationships, quality matters more than quantity.
In a society where individualism is often promoted over collectivity, competition over cooperation, or the biomedical vision over the biopsychosocial and spiritual, Harvard's discovery is nothing short of revolutionary.
During these holidays, when many people have once again experienced unwanted loneliness , it's essential to focus on community action, the value of human relationships, and projects that connect people. There are many initiatives in this area, and we need to promote and expand them.
The Keys to Combatting Unwanted Loneliness
But we must also be very vigilant: in recent years, unwanted loneliness has increased significantly in Western societies. Besides affecting people's psychological well-being, its presence is associated with poorer health and a higher risk of mortality. It is no coincidence that countries like Great Britain and Japan have recently created Ministries of Loneliness.
This was the warning issued six years ago by the documentary "The Swedish Theory of Love," by filmmaker Erik Gandini, which focused on the effects of certain social policies that actually weaken the cohesion of society and mutual support networks. "The state replacing family and friends as a safety net has had an unexpected effect on Swedish society: a plague of loneliness," states Víctor Lapuente, PhD in Political Science from Oxford, in the newspaper El País.
The need for community is not a modern invention. Since the dawn of humanity, we have lived connected to our communities, not only to ensure our survival, but also as a response to the need for emotional connection, to feel accepted, recognized, and loved.
If, as the Harvard study reveals, healthy and close relationships are the component that will keep us happy and healthy throughout life, perhaps we can rethink some of our priorities now while we still have time.
And to occasionally set aside our haste, look up from the screen, and rediscover what's essential: genuine connection with others. Let's not allow the pandemic to distract us from what's important, because we finally have scientific evidence that dedicating space and time to the people we love improves our quality of life, makes us feel happier, and contributes to better physical and mental health.
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