Managing interpersonal conflicts
Conflict is an essential and omnipresent part of our daily lives and can occur at various levels. No one can claim that there are no conflicts in their life.
As Aristotle told us, "Anyone can become angry—that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way—that is not easy."
In our personal interactions , we naturally exhibit behaviors that are not always socially appropriate or assertive. This can stem from negative and irrational thoughts that trigger emotional blocks or inappropriate feelings toward others and ourselves. These behaviors can lead to interpersonal conflicts more quickly.
Interpersonal conflicts are directly related to communication , a process in which everything matters. What we say is as important as how we say it: tone of voice, volume, speed, and pauses. Nonverbal communication is also relevant: eye contact, gestures, body posture, distance, and facial expressions. All of these elements will be present and must be interpreted and regulated in the interpersonal communication process.
We often encounter people who respond submissively or with little assertiveness to interpersonal conflicts. This happens because they tend to avoid conflict to prevent the anxiety, stress, or discomfort it generates. This is when imposed silence appears—a dysfunctional silence that does nothing to resolve the conflict. What usually happens with these individuals is that they accumulate resentment until one day an aggressive response emerges, which can be very clear, with rage and anger, or underlying, expressed through gestures.
For example, averting your gaze when you're sharing something interesting and important to you, and the other person isn't paying attention, is also a form of aggression. It demonstrates an attitude of: "I don't care about what you're saying, but I don't care about you either," and it can manifest as an expressive grimace on the other person's face that denotes disinterest, disagreement, or negative emotions like contempt.
Managing conflicts in the workplace
In the workplace , interpersonal conflicts are very common. Some conflicts can produce dysfunctional, long-lasting, and harmful results for the individual and their entire environment: personal, family, school, and work.
On the other hand, conflicts have also been seen as an opportunity or a challenge for improvement. Being aware of this conflict can be an opportunity to analyze our emotions and find ways to manage them.
It's important to keep in mind that these are personal relationships imposed by our environment. They are relationships with our coworkers, and therefore the expectation of a relationship cannot be the same as with a friend. Perhaps some of these people will become friends, but that won't happen with everyone.
Adjusting these expectations in interpersonal relationships at work involves knowing what behavior is expected of us and avoiding confusion. The advice is, basically, to protect your personal and private information and to separate your work and personal life. In these situations, we must use basic social skills and, sometimes, even more advanced ones.
"As if it were a chest of drawers, I placed his things in each drawer."
Healthcare professionals are not immune to interpersonal conflicts, even in their workplace. It's important to remember that healthcare professionals interact face-to-face daily with many people: patients, their families, and their own multidisciplinary team. The very nature of their work is emotionally intense, which can lead to work-related stress, burnout , and general distress. This is the negative aspect. The positive aspect is that caring for others in vulnerable situations generates profound feelings of satisfaction, personal gratitude, and personal fulfillment.
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For healthcare professionals, interpersonal conflicts bring significant additional suffering beyond that inherent in their work. Exposure to pain, suffering, unpleasant scenes, and even death itself is a constant presence in both hospital and community settings, requiring keen observation not only of reality but also of others' signals (both verbal and nonverbal) and their own emotional state. Human communication skills must be acquired and utilized to diagnose and resolve conflicts.
We will consider an effective professional to be one who is able to maintain their own emotional balance when making sound decisions, even when the conflict generates a high degree of discomfort.
Healthcare professionals must be proficient in some basic and essential social skills:
- Knowing how to diagnose what is happening (types and causes of conflict). What is happening and why?
- Consider the situation or context.
- Choose the appropriate strategy for managing it.
Workplace conflict can stem from personal problems or from issues related to the task or procedure being performed. Conflicts centered on individuals threaten relationships, while those based on issues or tasks improve them. If the dispute is interpersonal, it's important to try to separate the professional from the personal and ensure that relationships are not damaged.
It is known that a certain degree of uncertainty, such as entering a new workplace or the healthy competitiveness of the group, can alert the employee and make them pay more attention to effort, commitment and responsibility towards the task.
If the dispute centers on the task or the procedure, communication will be essential. It is crucial to work with more information and focus on facts, not assumptions. Debating and sharing agreed-upon goals will be essential, with commitment being key to managing conflicts in the workplace.
Why do interpersonal conflicts occur?
There are theories that speak of four sources of interpersonal conflict:
- Personal differences.
Each of us is different, and unique, which sometimes leads to interpersonal friction. Tolerance and a great deal of patience will be our best allies.
Socialization processes, experience, learning, values, culture, expectations, beliefs, and ethical and moral considerations related to conflict management will influence whether a conflict is resolved quickly or slowly. In a business setting, a high degree of heterogeneity and diversity appears to be more beneficial. It provides enrichment that translates into learning, increased performance, creativity, innovation, and productivity. - Lack of information.
It creates blocks when it comes to dialogue, behavior, and decision-making. - Confusing roles or parts.
To adapt and be effective, we need to be clear about our role. If we're not clear about it, we're confused, and this can lead to anxiety, stress, disappointment, and frustration. - Environmental stress.
Stress can be present at all levels of our lives, causing biological, psychological, emotional, and social disruptions. A stressful environment increases the likelihood of conflict and mistakes. - Uncertainty.
When individuals are uncertain about their status within a relationship, a situation, or an organization or company, they become more anxious and often experience frustration-related conflict. They find themselves in situations where they are unsure of what to do, their role, or their future in this particular situation. They may have an ambiguous or conflicting role, or their tasks may be unclear. Even in trivial situations, these individuals suffer and experience intense negative emotions.
How can we manage the conflict?
In the face of a conflict, we can have different reactions depending on the attitude we take towards its resolution:
- Coercion.
In this case, it's an attempt to satisfy one's own needs at the expense of the other person's. This is very common in dominant and aggressive personalities who prioritize self-interest. - Complacency.
A cooperative, non-assertive stance is adopted. This satisfies the other person's interests while neglecting one's own. We avoid conflict by saying yes to everything and appearing submissive and compliant. - Evasion.
The conflict is avoided through self-convincing that it doesn't exist. We must remember that avoiding the problem reduces initial anxiety, but in the long run, it exacerbates the problem. The person loses credibility. - Commitment or committed response.
This is an attempt to reach a partial solution for both parties.
There are no fixed rules of conduct; they depend on the individual, their circumstances, and the specific situation. We must remember that personal values and qualities based on cooperation, commitment, solidarity, and gratitude foster teamwork and create positive and conflict-free work and personal environments.
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