The importance of taking care of self-esteem
In these crucial and difficult times brought on by the COVID-19 pandemic, it is very difficult to talk about self-esteem. Self-esteem is directly related to social skills, emotional well-being, and happiness.
We all want magic recipes for "increasing self-esteem" in our search for happiness, especially in the self-help books that some bookstores strategically place on their shelves for quick consumption.
What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem is that invisible thing that cannot be seen, heard, or touched, but it exists and is felt. Self-esteem is part of self -concept , the concept a person has of themselves. It is built throughout life, fluctuates, and depends on many factors.
Self-concept has several interrelated parts:
- Self-esteem: how I value myself.
- Personal identity: who am I.
- Social identity: what am I.
- Body image: how I see myself.
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Thus, when we talk about self-esteem today, it would involve "how I feel about my abilities," "am I useful or useless," "am I capable of performing a specific task," and, also within the realm of self-esteem, "do I deserve to be who I am?" Self-esteem depends on the evaluation of my abilities and my sense of deservingness.
Furthermore, self-esteem is influenced by my perception of my own self-worth as seen through the eyes of others—that is, how I believe other people perceive me. And this is what complicates matters. In other words, my own self-worth is measured by the opinions of others.
In short, a high level of self-esteem depends on me and my relationships with others , in terms of my usefulness and worthiness. What's clear is that we always see ourselves through the eyes of others—how we think others see us. That's why we're so focused on their evaluations. This can be very damaging to us on many different levels.
How to improve self-esteem?
We know that's not easy. We are social beings, we live in society, and we need others. This forces us to adapt to social situations. Sometimes, we are able to voice our opinions and express our feelings. However, at other times, we remain silent or change the subject to avoid conflict. Social skills are related to self-esteem.
If I look good, I feel good about myself, especially if I am engaged in an engaging and rewarding task, if I believe in the person I am, if I value my social group (family and friends), if I set myself challenges and goals that are achievable with an attitude of commitment and effort, then surely our levels of self-esteem will be optimal.
The idea is that you want to improve and evolve, always striving to do things better.
It's also important that, when you achieve your goals and overcome challenges, you're able to perceive them as your own successes, and not as a result of chance or luck. And above all, if I stop placing so much importance on what others see in me, on their own evaluation, I'll probably be happier and maintain my self-esteem at optimal levels.
On the other hand, don't beat yourself up if you fall and have to get back up. Life is full of ups and downs. We live in a changing, complex, and threatening world, the result of critical, novel, and uncontrollable situations like those we are experiencing right now.
Let's take care of our self-esteem and above all remember that it accompanies us throughout our lives, and can be our great friend and ally or our enemy.
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