How unhealthy perfectionism affects a teenager's life
How many times have you heard that success is only achieved by striving for perfection? Modern society pressures us to be increasingly perfect in everything we do. But the reality is that perfection isn't always perfect, since, on many occasions, it brings far more disadvantages than advantages to our mental and physical health. The desire to be perfect can lead to the feeling of not achieving what others with more realistic goals do.
Perfectionism is a personality trait that involves setting high goals or high standards for task performance, requiring a high degree of self-discipline to achieve them . This personality trait is accompanied by excessive self-criticism and worry about making mistakes or not meeting those standards.
Healthy and unhealthy perfectionism
This personality trait doesn't necessarily have to be negative. We understand healthy perfectionism as that which promotes effort and quality work. It involves organization and efficiency in tasks, and fosters tenacity, perseverance, dedication, and responsibility. It is also characterized by the experience of various positive emotions such as satisfaction, pleasure, and tranquility.
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But in some cases, perfectionism can become an unhealthy trait when it's accompanied by a high need for approval and a fear of rejection. A highly negative self-critical attitude emerges, mistakes are labeled as failures, and self-evaluation is based solely on successes and failures. In these cases, dissatisfaction and insecurity are constant, and a fear of taking on new challenges may arise.
Like any other behavior, if taken to extremes, it can cause problems in our lives.
Symptoms such as anxiety, depression, eating disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and social anxiety may appear. Exaggerated reactions of frustration, sadness, or anger are very common. These individuals are highly sensitive and vulnerable to criticism and mistakes. Furthermore, they often have low self-esteem and perceive themselves as lacking in skills and abilities.
Unhealthy perfectionism during adolescence
This is why we must be attentive to the unhealthy manifestation of perfectionism during adolescence, a time when it can negatively influence:
- Academic field : These are brilliant students who study obsessively, work more hours than anyone else, and are very organized.
- In the sports field : they dedicate a lot of time to sports, with a strong sense of competitiveness and little tolerance for frustration. If they believe they cannot win, they will no longer participate.
- Social sphere : These are people with a strong desire to meet expectations in order to please and gain the approval of others. They have a great fear of being judged negatively by others.
- Physical sphere : people obsessed with having a normative body according to current standards that advocate for thinness, which they understand to be a "perfect and ideal body".
For some teenagers, perfectionism can become a real problem . This is demonstrated by a study conducted by experts at the University of Ottawa, who linked excessive perfectionism to anxiety and depression. The research involved 604 Canadian teenagers between the ages of 12 and 18. The scientists examined academic performance and perfectionism. According to these authors, perfectionism is a maladaptive personality style characterized by high self-imposed standards that are consistently linked to the development of anxiety and depression.
Socio-emotional development in adolescence
The results showed that some high-achieving teenagers are trapped in a vicious cycle of achievement and perfectionism . Specifically, at each point assessed, higher grades led to greater perfectionism.
At school, it is particularly important for families and education professionals to foster environments of self-acceptance . Young people should be helped to understand that they can be accepted for who they are, even if they are still working toward certain goals. Pressure should be avoided to be perfect, and instead, their successes, even the smallest ones, and their efforts should be acknowledged. Furthermore, it is important to work to counteract all-or-nothing thinking. Not achieving perfection does not mean failure.
What can we tell young people to promote healthy perfectionism?
To counteract a tendency to develop unhealthy perfectionism that can impact the lives of teenagers, there are several recommendations that can be given to them so that they value other important aspects:
- To think that a person's worth does not depend on whether or not they achieve their goals.
- Value yourself for who you are as a person, not for your achievements.
- Lowering perfectionist standards will result in performance equal to or even better than current levels.
- The journey you take towards achieving your goals is satisfying in itself.
- Mistakes are normal, they help us grow and we can value them regardless of the results.
- Accepting the reality that human beings are imperfect helps us to tolerate all kinds of situations, avoids surprise and self-criticism.
A workshop on perfectionism
With the importance of working on healthy perfectionism in mind, we recommend the workshop on perfectionism , prepared by SOM Mental Health 360º and available for download at the end of this article.
This workshop is designed for children and adolescents and can be led by healthcare and social work professionals, as well as teachers. This tool, which includes both theoretical and practical components, can be used in therapy settings and schools. The aim of this material is to raise awareness of the negative aspects of perfectionism through a 45-60 minute session.
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