How can you help someone with an eating disorder who feels guilty about food?

Guilt is a very common emotion in people with eating disorders, and therapy is necessary to overcome this emotion and all the suffering that comes with the disorder. It's important to remember that this guilt stems from the negative thoughts that often arise with the disorder, and therapy will help to manage them.

It's very common for people with an eating disorder to feel guilty before, during, or after meals, as they've established a classification of foods as "good" or "bad." Therefore, we can find people with a high level of guilt when they eat something they consider "bad" or unhealthy. No food is inherently good or bad, but the person with an eating disorder assigns these attributes based on the beliefs they've developed from a restrictive dieting mindset.

There is also a guilt related to low self-esteem that leads the person with an eating disorder to doubt what they do, say or feel, entering a new loop of negative feelings.

How can we help reduce feelings of guilt?

When someone with an eating disorder feels unwell before, during, or after a meal, it's important that their environment remains calm and doesn't succumb to anxiety or helplessness . Losing your temper when the person is suffering or refuses to eat only makes the situation worse.

• When someone with an eating disorder shows this distress, we must support them and understand how they feel emotionally. Active listening helps them express their feelings and feel supported. Some appropriate phrases might be: "How are you feeling?", "What can I do to help?", or "I understand how you feel."
• It can also be helpful to acknowledge the effort they are making, and encourage the person to connect with their motivations and future plans.
• It is recommended not to urge the person to eat or not to eat , unless this is part of the therapeutic plan indicated by the professionals who care for them.
• Avoid making comparisons with other people; each person is unique and no two bodies are the same.
• Don't let the person with the eating disorder control the situation or negotiate with their behavior. Remember, it's the disorder that's talking.

The importance of the family in addressing eating disorders

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This doesn't help a person who feels guilty about eating.

As we already know, an eating disorder isn't just a problem related to food; it goes much further than that. Aspects such as self-esteem and perfectionism play a significant role in the development of an eating disorder. That's why certain behaviors and phrases directly impact the person who feels guilty about eating.

• Talking about good (healthy) and bad (unhealthy) foods.
• Question why she makes so many meals.
• We are surprised by the amount he is eating.
• Talking about weight or body.
• Comments like: "Don't worry, one day is one day."
• Talking about calories or diets.
• Insisting that they try something they don't want to try.
• Talking about compensating or calories.

When interacting with someone with an eating disorder, we must remember that this person is living in a distorted reality and suffering, making them much more sensitive to any comment . Therefore, it's important to avoid controlling them, encourage dialogue, not overwhelm them, and make them feel supported and understood.

A guilt that doesn't last forever

As the person recovers, feelings of guilt tend to lessen. However, it's important to keep in mind that guilt can resurface during periods of high stress.

If we notice that this thought keeps coming back, we can help her analyze how these thoughts make her feel and what influence they have on her behavior with questions like: "What do you gain from this thought?", "How does it make you feel?", "Is it realistic compared to what you have around you?", "What would be the logical thing to do?", "How do you want to feel?".

Therapeutic treatment helps the person redirect negative thoughts, including guilt. It teaches them to develop a more realistic self-concept and cultivate healthy self-esteem. Therefore, when the person recovers, they see everything with greater perspective and are no longer plagued by recurring feelings of guilt.

A person in recovery should not routinely experience this feeling of guilt related to food, and even less so suffer because of it or act based on those feelings. If these feelings influence their behavior or cause them distress, it will be necessary to seek help from specialized professionals.