How can we prevent screen addiction?
Not all children are at the same risk of developing an addiction to ICTs; the relationship they develop with screens will largely depend on their starting point. While those who enjoy strong social and family relationships tend to use the internet to reinforce these relationships, children who have social difficulties may establish friendships and receive online social support that they don't receive in other ways.
Therefore , prevention involves promoting healthy attitudes and habits in the different areas of our children's lives, and that starts with reviewing our functioning as role models (empowerment, self-observation, action, digital literacy, setting limits, and improving communication).
Empowerment
Parenting creates situations of constant learning and growth. So, even though we may not have much experience with ICTs (Information and Communication Technologies), we do have experience in many other areas, and therefore, the criteria that are usually valid for most aspects related to children can likely be generalized to this field. Let's take advantage of the common sense gained from years of experience and trust our judgment and ability to cope with the different crises that may arise during parenting.
Empowerment involves developing confidence in one's own abilities and actions , as well as in the decisions and goals we set for ourselves as educators. It is important that parents are empowered; otherwise, insecurities can influence their actions. For example, they might give in to social pressure by buying video games that are inappropriate for their child's age or by letting them use their phone while waiting at a restaurant to avoid a tantrum.
Observe myself to learn
It's important to understand how adults react, what our habits are, and how we relate to others. Children also observe us and detect inconsistencies between our words and actions.
For this reason, it's important to focus on ourselves and observe how we act, how we communicate with them, and how we manage our own discomfort. We might ask them to do things we don't even do ourselves, but the worst part is that we can also get angry with them for not doing them, which can damage the relationship and their self-esteem. Everyone can struggle to achieve goals, and perseverance and self-control are skills that develop later in human development.
So if we intend to set any limits, it is interesting, on the one hand, to observe if we ourselves can accept them , and on the other hand, to accompany it with some control of the environment to promote self-control (for example, not having the wifi on at night or installing the computer in a common area of the house).
Talk less, act more
If we simply repeat the same message over and over, things are unlikely to change. Providing information and explaining the rule is essential, but constantly stating it doesn't guarantee success. It's more effective to act, demonstrate, and lead by example .
For this reason, it is important to promote responsible use of ICT for the whole family and to establish limits on family technological leisure time (not just for the young person).
Digital literacy
If we don't understand the digital environment, we can't comprehend it, and what we don't understand creates distance, fear, and even rejection. Furthermore, if they think we don't understand or aren't interested, they withdraw and isolate themselves, losing interest in communicating and sharing. Therefore, it seems important to reach out, learn about it, and take an interest in what they do, how they do it, with whom, and what it brings them.
On the other hand, if we don't understand the digital environment, we can hardly prepare them to thrive in a safe digital space. Digital literacy isn't just about knowing how to use a digital device; it's also about understanding and applying how this use can improve our lives or make us more productive and efficient.
The ideal approach to screen use is to make a gradual introduction, from less to more, accompanying this learning as we do with everything else, progressively generating autonomy and educating in the use of new technologies from childhood.
As general guidelines, it is advisable to carefully choose games and applications taking into account the developmental stage, accompany them in this activity, warn of the dangers of contacting strangers, giving personal data or downloading suspicious programs, establish times and places of use, and allow technological leisure as a reward and not as an acquired right.
Limits are necessary, but not sufficient
Children need to grow up in an environment where they can predict what will happen with some certainty. This gives them confidence and helps reduce stress levels, among other things. That's why routines and boundaries are essential; they also need to know which behaviors are allowed and which are not. Parents play a key role as authority figures and guides in creating this predictable and safe environment.
Furthermore, for healthy development it will be necessary to foster critical thinking through questions, exposing inconsistencies, ... in this way it helps to reflect on what content is appropriate for them.
Improve communication
Listening and trying to understand how the other person feels, encouraging the child or young person to express their point of view without judgment and with complete acceptance of the other person, is key to establishing good communication. Ideally, this habit should be established from a young age to foster open communication among all family members.
If you wait until adolescence, there is a risk that they will become more closed off, which will affect the bond and security (if they have difficulties or are at risk, they are less likely to turn to us).
This is an original article from the 12th FAROS Report "A look at the mental health of adolescents - Keys to understanding and supporting them".
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