Growing, caring for and sustaining ourselves in community
In recent years, the word resilience has entered everyday language with force. It is often used to talk about strength, overcoming or the ability to endure and fight in the face of difficulties. But this view can be misleading and even unfair. Resilience is not about enduring everything, or going it alone , or thinking positively in a forced or naive way. Nor is it the absence of suffering or emotional invulnerability.
From a health promotion and care perspective, resilience is the human capacity to face adversity , adapt to change, learn from what we experience and rebuild, recover and even transform. And, above all, it is a process that does not only depend on the person individually, but also on the context and relationships that surround us.
What is resilience and why is it important in adolescence?
Individual, family and community resilience
A simple way to understand resilience is through the metaphor of a seed. Every child, teenager and adult is like a seed with unique potential. But no seed thrives alone. Its growth depends on soil, water, light, climate and the care it receives, among other factors.
Resilience is a process that does not only depend on the individual person, but also on the context and relationships that surround us.
Similarly, the healthy development of people is not an exclusive individual responsibility , but a shared responsibility between the family, the educational center, the community, health services, socio-educational agents and institutions. When a society prioritizes care and education —with health and education as pillars— it creates the conditions for all seeds to grow: secure bonds, time, attention, resources and support.
That's why we talk about systemic resilience: individual, family and community . People don't develop in isolation, we do so within systems that influence us and that we can also transform.
What does it mean to be resilient in everyday life?
Being resilient does not mean resisting everything immutably, avoiding discomfort or denying difficult or intense emotions. On the contrary, it involves knowing how to regulate ourselves when we experience situations of stress or pressure : identifying what we feel, recognizing it in our body, thoughts and mood and looking for healthy ways to express it. Regulating is not suppressing; it is giving ourselves time and space, understanding and deciding how we want to respond.
Resilience also involves adapting to changes, being flexible and creative , implementing different strategies depending on the moment and making use of available external resources. This includes asking for help , a gesture that far from being a sign of weakness is a key skill for emotional health, but also sharing what is happening to us or letting others accompany us is part of resilience. Being resilient does not mean adapting to any situation or accepting everything. There are circumstances, relationships or contexts that are not healthy or fair, and in the face of these , resilience also involves knowing how to set limits and protect ourselves . Adapting is not giving up: not everything is worth it in life, and taking care of ourselves involves discerning what we can sustain and what we cannot, and acting accordingly.
Asking for help is a key skill for emotional health, but sharing what is happening to us or letting others support us is also part of resilience.
Furthermore, being resilient means looking for possible solutions to difficulties, taking responsibility for what is in our hands and adjusting expectations to reality. This process can involve looking for resources within ourselves —our own capacities, strategies and experiences— but also outside, in the people, bonds and supports available in the environment. It is not about controlling everything alone, but about knowing how to manage uncertainty, tolerate possible discomfort and sustain and co-regulate ourselves, also in others.
Finally, resilience involves learning from the experiences we live, both pleasant and difficult, from difficulties and mistakes, etc. Giving meaning to what happens to us helps us integrate learning and better face future situations.
Socio-emotional skills that promote resilience
Habits to nurture our resilience
Resilience does not appear suddenly; it is built over time, in a network and with small daily actions, such as:
- Having healthy habits: resting, moving the body, eating well and having routines gives us a primary and secure basis for regulation.
- Cultivate supportive relationships: Safe and trusting bonds are a key protective factor.
- Recognizing limits and strengths: we can't do everything, but we can do many things if we know ourselves.
- Dedicate space to the present: practices that help us calm down and enjoy doing them (breathing, walking, writing, mindfulness ).
- Validate ourselves: what we feel has meaning; we must listen to ourselves, without excuses or judgments.
Committing to a caring society, which values education, health and bonds, is committing to collective well-being.
A practical exercise: the resilience map
We propose a simple exercise to become aware of your own internal and external resources .
Draw three circles and write inside each one:
- I have : people, spaces and external resources that support me and promote my resilience (family, friendships, professionals, community...).
- I am: personal qualities that define me and that I have developed and worked on over time (persevering, empathetic, creative, with a sense of humor...).
- I can: strategies and skills that I use to face difficulties or problems (talking to someone, exercising, writing, breathing consciously...).
This map can serve as a reminder in difficult times . We often have more resources than we think, but we need to stop and reflect on them to recognize them.
Connecting with other people to have healthier relationships
A collective look
Resilience protects our health. But this is not just a personal task. When we take care of ourselves, are taken care of and take care of our environment, people flourish . Committing to a caring society, which values education, health and connections, is committing to collective well-being. The development of each child, adolescent and individual is a shared project. And when individuals flourish, the community also flourishes.
