Are you self-harming? Explain it and ask for help
Most people who self-harm may feel lonely, strange or isolated. There is a lot of misunderstanding surrounding self-harm, but you should know that if you are engaging in this behavior, you are probably facing a difficult situation and may need help . Why is it important to ask for help?
Many people who self-harm report that the more they do it, the harder it is to stop, and they often feel that self-harm has taken over their lives. Stopping self-harm is possible . Many people who used to self-harm have found healthier ways to cope and have stopped. Some have done so on their own, while others have done so with the support of a professional.
In any case, it is important to remember that learning new ways of coping with situations takes time and effort. Don't get discouraged if you don't succeed quickly or find it difficult, many people have experienced this too. It is difficult to stop, but you can do it.
How can I manage my emotions to avoid self-harm?
Why do I self-harm?
The most common reason for self-harming is to relieve a negative feeling or thought . You may think that self-harm helps you manage difficult feelings, such as anger, anxiety or sadness, but although it may make you feel better in the moment, this effect will not last long and, in the medium to long term, it is very likely to make you feel worse, guilty and scared.
But it is also true that feeling good after self-harm makes it more likely that the next time you feel sad, angry or anxious, you will self-harm again. Therefore, we could say that emotional relief (feeling better) reinforces self-harm.
Knowing why you self-harm can help you identify alternative behaviors that you could use instead of self-harming.
Everyone has their own reasons for self-harming. For example, some people explain that they do it to “distract from emotional pain,” to “express emotions,” to “make discomfort tangible,” to “punish themselves,” or to “show others how uncomfortable they are.” Most people have more than one reason or motive for self-harming, and these reasons can change over time. This makes it difficult to simply give a reason when others want to know why you do it. However, being clear about the role that self-harm plays in your case can help you reduce shame and frustration and identify alternative behaviors that you could use instead of self-harming.
It is important to keep in mind that the more you self-harm, the more likely you are to continue doing it. But remember that you will not solve your problems this way, but rather create new ones: problems with relationships with others, self-esteem, physical problems, and academic or work performance.
How can you avoid self-harm?
How do I explain that I am self-harming?
You may feel like no one understands you. The thought of having to tell someone about your self-harm can make you feel scared, ashamed, or frustrated. However, self-harm is a sign that things are difficult for you and that you need to find more appropriate ways to cope.
The person you tell may have a reaction you didn't expect and may need time to understand what's happening and how best to help you.
Even if you self-harm only occasionally, you may have difficulty dealing with your emotions or communicating with others . For this reason, talking to someone close to you can be very helpful. Here are some ideas that may help:
- Identify someone you trust (anyone) and choose a suitable day and place to tell them.
- Write your story. Sometimes writing down how you started self-harming and what your experience was like can help you share it with someone else. This is especially helpful when you have a hard time talking about your feelings.
- The person you are talking to may need time to understand what is happening and how best to help you. So don't expect them to always respond with empathy, understanding and kindness. Sometimes, when people really care about you, they may react in ways that may disappoint you and may not seem helpful at first. It's probably because they don't understand self-harm, they are scared and don't know what to do or say.
- If you are a teenager and decide to tell a close friend, they may need to tell an adult. Tell an adult because they care about you, not because they are not a good friend. Even if a friend can understand you, they cannot help you alone , and the most important thing is that you have help.
- You can search for useful and reliable information and share it with whoever you want to help them understand what you are going through. You must make sure that the websites you consult or the information you share are trustworthy.
Am I ready to stop self-harming?
Seek professional help
In addition to talking to people close to you, there are other resources available that can help you. You are never alone. There are helpful treatments for self-harm . During treatment, the professional who treats you will need time to get to know you and understand the reasons why you self-harm. However, remember that he or she has seen many other people before you with the same problems. Self-harm can often be treated in an outpatient setting. This means that you can continue treatment while continuing with your daily life. Only in some cases may more intensive treatment be necessary, which may require hospitalization.
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