Accompanying a person with depression
Depression is a treatable health problem. Anyone can experience this disorder at any point in their life, regardless of age, cultural background, or educational or economic status.
When someone suffers from depression, their social and family environment plays a crucial role in the entire recovery process. However, it's not an easy situation, as providing support involves some challenges, such as not understanding what depression is and why a loved one is experiencing it, being unfamiliar with the healthcare system , or not knowing how to act or what to say . The support of family and close friends is essential in these situations, as they can offer emotional and physical support at different stages of the process, depending on the individual's clinical and social circumstances.
How can I help a friend with depression?
Friendships are part of the social support network for someone with depression. It's important that friends are informed and understand what the person is going through in order to support them appropriately, with empathy, without judgment or criticism, and by offering the necessary help. Some recommendations for helping a friend with depression are:
- Show empathy so that she knows she can talk to you about what's happening to her and how she feels.
- Offer your support and companionship and let them know that they are not alone in this problem.
- Interact with him as you usually do and suggest activities to do together, although there will be days when he won't want to and will prefer to stay home.
- Don't dismiss the problems he explains to you; and don't judge or criticize what he says or his behavior.
- If the person is a minor, encourage them to talk to an adult (family member, teacher, professional) they feel comfortable with to explain what's happening. If you feel able, and they allow it, you can accompany them to this meeting.
- If you notice that she is in a state of extreme sadness, try to convince her to ask for help.
How can a family act in a case of depression in a child or adolescent?
Depression in children and adolescents manifests not only in how they feel but also in how they behave. This can cause complex situations at home, at school, and in relationships with family and friends. Some of these problems may include self-harm, drug and alcohol abuse, risky sexual behavior (sexually transmitted infections, unwanted pregnancy), or dropping out of school, among others.
The longer it takes to access treatment, the more harmful it will be for the person with depression and for the family.
Is depression a disorder exclusive to adults?
Some recommendations on how the family should act:
- The first step is to acknowledge that there is a mental health problem, however difficult that may be. Recognizing and understanding the disorder is necessary to be able to help.
- Be alert to possible changes in behavior and warning signs.
- To offer a safe and trustworthy environment.
- Staying calm in stressful situations at home.
- Share quality time: cook together, take a walk, share some fun activities.
- Respect silences and do not force obligatory answers.
- Talk to other people who know them. The person may be reluctant to talk to their parents about how they feel, but they may confide in friends, classmates, or other family members.
- Stay in touch with the school to learn about academic progress and see if they have observed any warning signs.
- Offer to accompany the doctor to seek professional help.
- Don't look for someone to blame.
- To highlight his positive values and how much he represents and is loved in the family.
How can a family act in a case of depression in an adult?
The family should show support and understanding . First and foremost, they should try to avoid trivializing the problem. Their desire to help can backfire with expressions like "it's nothing" or "you just need to cheer up." It's also important to avoid blaming themselves for the situation. Ideally, the adult or senior with depression should feel that they are not alone and that the family is providing that support.
What can the family do?:
- Listen to their concerns with interest.
- Do not force her to speak.
- Encourage her to maintain her daily habits and tasks. Do not pressure her to do anything she doesn't want to do.
- Offer to help with a practical matter: going shopping or doing some household chores.
- Ensure that he does not abandon the treatment and that he follows the medical instructions carefully.
- Go to the medical appointment with her (if she agrees).
- Learn about the illness and the resources available for its treatment. (There are associations for families of people with mental disorders that offer helpful information.)
- Make sure you have time to take care of yourself so you can take care of the person with depression.
What can we say to a person with depression?
When someone is experiencing a mental health problem, it can be difficult to know what to say. The first thing to do is listen and try to be understanding. Some general guidelines are:
Recommended:
- Saying phrases like: "I'd like to know how you're feeling"; "You must be suffering a lot"; "What do you need?"; "How can I help you?"; "Can I go with you to the doctor?"; "Would you like to talk?".
- Respect the silences in the conversation.
- Remember how loved and valued this person is.
Not recommended:
- Giving unsolicited advice.
- To force the person to laugh.
- Saying things like: "It's not that big of a deal"; "You have no reason to be like this"; "Cheer up"; "You have to do your part"; "You're pathetic"; "Stop complaining already."
We might mistakenly think that someone with depression isn't doing things because they don't want to. We need to understand that they have a mental health issue, and we can't force them to do activities they don't feel capable of at the moment. We can, however, advise them (without forcing them) not to abandon their self-care and usual tasks , as this will help them lead a more organized life and improve their well-being.
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