Why do I sabotage myself when I see that I'm improving?
Depression is one of the most prevalent mental health disorders worldwide, affecting 5% of adults according to the World Health Organization (WHO). Recovery can be a complex and prolonged process. The main goal of treatment is to achieve remission of symptoms and for the individual to regain functionality in different areas of life: family, social, work, and education.
To address this, various therapeutic approaches exist at the medical, psychological, and psychosocial levels, which are effective for mild, moderate, and severe depression. However, in some cases, the recovery process can be slow and complicated due to a poor response to treatment or other negatively impacting factors.
While improved mood is the desired goal in this process, some people may experience a paradoxical phenomenon known as self-sabotage , in which they undermine their own progress toward full recovery. We are not only afraid of bad things happening to us, but we are also afraid of success.
We may be afraid of change, of the unknown, even if it is better for us, and of leaving our comfort zone, which is not really so comfortable, but it is the situation we are used to living in.
Although it may seem strange, even though we want to improve our mood, this improvement can unconsciously become a threat . Therefore, we may exhibit feelings or behaviors that seem to contradict this desire for improvement. We fear change, the unknown, even if it's better for us, and leaving our comfort zone (which isn't actually that comfortable, but it's the situation we're used to).
What can help us feel better when we have depression?
How does personal boycott manifest itself and why?
The prospect of shedding a depressive identity can generate anxiety and resistance to change. But why? After living with depression for an extended period, it can become part of a person's identity . The idea of facing life without the label of "depressed person" can feel threatening, as it implies having to assume a new role that can be a stressful challenge.
There are several underlying factors that can trigger self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviors:
- Fear of change. The fear of losing the role of a person with depression can generate resistance to positive change. The prospect of leaving behind that familiar state can create apprehension about change and provoke unconscious resistance to progress. Even when improvement is experienced, the mind can sabotage recovery efforts out of fear of the unknown.
- Emotional sabotage. Negative and self-destructive thoughts are common in people with depression. These negative thoughts can persist even when the person improves and manifest as excessive self-criticism or anticipation of future failures.
- Behavioral sabotage. The person adopts self-destructive behaviors that neutralize recovery efforts.
- Excessive self-criticism and perfectionism. As mood improves, it's common for expectations of oneself to become more demanding. This increased self-criticism can lead to feelings of failure and frustration if unrealistic plans aren't met. The result is a self-reinforcing cycle of negative self-evaluation.
- Irregular adherence to treatment. Lack of adherence to treatment and failure to follow the instructions of healthcare professionals negatively impacts the prognosis and increases the risk of relapse.
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How can we overcome self-sabotage?
Here are some guidelines or tips that can help you overcome self-sabotage:
- Recognize and accept these thoughts as part of the recovery process. You can keep an emotions journal to help you identify and understand self-destructive thoughts and their potential triggers. The first step to avoiding self-sabotage is becoming aware of our thought and behavior patterns.
- Practice self-compassion. Don't judge yourself harshly for your imperfections. Cultivating a compassionate attitude toward yourself can counteract excessive self-criticism and encourage acceptance of change. Recognizing that we are all human and deserve love and understanding can help offset excessive self-criticism and promote self-acceptance.
- Set realistic goals. Don't strive for perfection; instead, set achievable objectives. Celebrate small daily wins. Acknowledging progress, however small it may seem, can help maintain motivation and counteract self-criticism.
- We have the support of friends, family, and mutual support groups. Sharing our experiences with trusted people helps us build a valuable support network.
- Maintain a healthy lifestyle. Prioritize physical, emotional, and spiritual self-care. Healthy habits are a key part of this process: exercise regularly, follow a balanced diet, practice good sleep hygiene, and engage in activities or hobbies that make you feel good.
- Don't use drugs. People with depression may turn to addictive substances as a form of "self-medication." This can provide a false, temporary relief from symptoms, but in the long run, it worsens both the depression and the substance use problem.
- Follow the prescribed treatment correctly. Unilaterally discontinuing treatment without medical advice is associated with an increased rate of relapse and recurrence of depression.
- Seek professional support. Professionals will provide you with specific tools to counteract self-sabotage, based on your personal situation and needs.
The road to recovery from depression can include self-sabotage, which can become an obstacle if not recognized and addressed, negatively impacting our well-being and that of our immediate family and social circle. However, maintaining a healthy lifestyle, adhering to treatment, and acquiring new coping skills all contribute to overcoming this obstacle and moving toward a full and meaningful life.
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