The role of the family in screen use

"What's the best gift we can give a young child? Exclusive time with each child, alone and without screens. Thirty minutes every night when they get home from school or at bedtime, and forty minutes every week somewhere outside the home. That works wonders." Catherine L'Ecuyer, educator and psychologist.

The emergence of ICTs (information, communication, and relationship technologies) has modified and intensified communication and interpersonal relationships, especially among adolescents and young adults. They use them naturally and they constitute a common tool for communication, leisure, and schoolwork. Surveys reveal some significant data: young people aged 16 to 24 are the most active on social media (92.6%), and 98.1% use the internet daily (INE, 2022). Similarly, compulsive internet use is estimated at 20% among 14- to 18-year-olds (ESTUDES, 2021).

Therefore, in this situation, it is essential to promote actions that encourage healthy screen habits and prevent problematic use. In a hyperconnected and constantly evolving society, parents, as their children's first educators, face the challenge of educating and guiding their children in their digital learning. Because this "is not about technology, it's about education." (Maria Zalbidea – Screens, 2020)

The family It is, therefore, a determining element in accompanying and guiding sons and daughters for a responsible use of screens and, therefore, they must take an active role in their digital education.

The influence exerted on them can be positive or negative. Therefore, it is necessary to promote protective factors , which are those attributes, conditions, or characteristics that reduce or mitigate the risk and likelihood of problematic screen use. One of the goals of prevention is to increase these protective factors.

Family protective factors

• Emotional bonds and positive and assertive communication.
• Consensus on clear and consistent rules and limits.
• Promoting their self-esteem and autonomy.
• Positive behavior models.
• Family leisure activities.
• Collaboration and follow-up with the school.

Emotional bonds and positive and assertive communication

Promoting good communication within the family fosters unity and improves relationships and bonds among its members. For children to establish a positive communicative relationship with their parents, they must feel accepted and heard , and that they can express their opinions, feelings, and emotions without being censored or reprimanded. Listening to them with interest and active listening , as communication expert Ferrán Ramón-Cortés points out, is key—"listening with your eyes. "

Communication should be bidirectional —if the goal is for children to share their experiences, then parents must also share theirs—and encourage their participation in family decisions, taking their opinions and arguments into account. It's also important to practice slow communication: establishing a regular habit of disconnecting from digital technology to cultivate face-to-face interaction. and to make online connectivity moments more productive and enriching. (Serrano, 2014).

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Consensus on clear and consistent rules and limits

The rules are agreements shared within the family to ensure responsible screen use. They define what is and isn't allowed, and the consequences of breaking them. These rules and limits can be agreed upon with children and reviewed based on their age and their capacity to assume greater autonomy and responsibilities. They can even be revised and modified if sufficient and valid arguments are provided. These rules can be complemented with other restrictive measures, such as parental control tools .

The family is a determining element in accompanying and guiding sons and daughters for a responsible use of screens and, therefore, must take an active role in their digital education.

Although experts agree on this point, the latest UNICEF study highlights the low level of supervision that mothers and fathers seem to be exercising, not fully aware of their role as role models in screen use and the need for guidance and establishing good digital hygiene. At home, there is little parental supervision; only 29.1% of adolescents report that their parents set rules for them regarding the use of ICTs. Only 23.9% limit usage hours and 13.2% limit the content that can be accessed. (UNICEF, 2021)

A good way to establish clear connection times and screen-free spaces is to document the agreements and ensure they are sufficiently clear to both parties through a signed contract. This will encourage responsibility and commitment. ( Hoffman contract template ).

Some good practices:

• Do not use electronic devices during meals or after going to bed, as they stimulate mental activity and make it difficult to sleep.
• Share the devices in a common area of the house.
• Rationalize usage time, prioritizing academic, domestic, and other responsibilities.
• Educating for respect on social media. Promoting values such as empathy and respect. The use of social media should be governed by the same rules of conduct as face-to-face communication.
• Teach children how to protect their personal data and privacy. Families must also limit the publication of images of their children on social media; many practice sharenting (the overexposure of children on social networks).

Parents' habitual use of mobile phones during family meals, besides setting a bad example for their children, is associated with significantly higher rates of problematic internet use and various risky behaviors. (UNICEF 2021)

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Promoting their self-esteem and personal autonomy

Self-concept is the image a person has of themselves. Within self-concept lies self-esteem, understood as the feeling of positive or negative self-worth. It is important to value our sons and daughters. Reinforcing their positive aspects, building confidence , and creating expectations tailored to their abilities, while also valuing their effort, is crucial. When we believe in someone, we encourage them toward goals and guide and support them in achieving them. This is what we call the Pygmalion effect . Knowing that we believe in a person will increase their self-esteem and self-concept. When they demonstrate responsibility and follow family rules, this behavior should be acknowledged, reinforced, and praised. A person with healthy self-esteem is a powerful individual, while one with low self-esteem becomes vulnerable.

It is important to value our sons and daughters, reinforce their positive aspects, generate confidence and create expectations in them adjusted to their abilities, valuing effort.

Positive behavior models

The family is the primary environment for children's socialization. Within this context, attitudes, values, beliefs, and habits are transmitted and internalized, shaping their personality. The family exerts its influence during the most important developmental stages: childhood and adolescence. Mothers and fathers are role models; therefore, children learn what they observe . While they cannot be perfect, it is important to maintain attitudes and behaviors consistent with the values and norms that are passed on.

Family leisure activities

It's important to know their hobbies in order to plan and share leisure activities of common interest as a family, without screens . It's also good to encourage their participation in activities and teamwork, such as youth, cultural, and community associations, or volunteering. However, it's also advisable to share digital leisure time with them , since to be a valid conversationalist, it's necessary to understand their tools and the content they consume. At the same time, it's good to create a space to foster their critical thinking and build bridges to talk about other topics: the risks of social media or the need to verify the accuracy of information.

Collaboration and follow-up with the school

Family and school must work together, not only for academic monitoring, but also for supervising classroom behavior, peer relationships, and, undoubtedly, promoting healthy screen time habits . The advantage schools offer is that they can reach a large number of young people; as has been said before, they can access a captive audience. Some schools have become "mobile-free zones," such as Les Alfabegues in Bétera (Valencia), where students and teachers are prohibited from using mobile phones. This policy has been complemented by a range of recess activities to promote group participation: board games, mindfulness exercises , workshops, debates, and more, exponentially increasing face-to-face interaction. among the students. To carry out these initiatives, the commitment and shared responsibility of the family are necessary.

It has been shown that many risky online practices are more common among teenagers who bring their mobile phones to school every day . They are also more common among those whose parents tend to use their mobile phones during meals. (UNICEF, 2021)

Managing emotions

To help adolescents and young adults identify, manage, express, and navigate their emotions, both pleasant and unpleasant, and learn to regulate them appropriately. The whole family must learn to express their feelings and be congruent between their feelings and actions through adaptive strategies. Having what psychologist Patricia Ramírez calls a "resource set"—a range of activities that improve emotional well-being: meditation, physical exercise, social interaction, etc.—is essential. And today, social media undoubtedly evokes a wide array of emotions. The internet primarily elicits positive emotions in adolescence, but certain situations can also produce an emotional impact that negatively affects self-esteem, mood, and well-being. (UNICEF, 2021)

Encourage family involvement in digital education

The way children are raised influences their development into autonomous and responsible individuals, fostering a healthy lifestyle and equipping them with the resources and strategies to face new challenges. To achieve this, families need to be empowered by providing them with the tools and resources to acquire skills for their educational and support roles. It is also advisable for them to participate actively in preventative programs, generating solutions that address their needs. However, in this preventative endeavor, the involvement and shared responsibility of other community stakeholders and agents are essential.

However, one of the challenges facing the field of family prevention is engaging fathers and mothers in these interventions (Secades et al., 2011). Some recruitment and retention strategies proposed by this author are:

• Personal invitations.
• Use of incentives.
• Reminders.
• Collaboration of other parents.
• Dissemination of material through community agents.
• Use of positive messages.
• Organizing information sessions with professionals from different facilities to refer families.
• Active involvement of schools in this type of intervention.

It is therefore essential to raise awareness among parents about their active role in their children's digital education , with the ultimate goal of ensuring responsible and critical screen use. We will then be on the right track to achieving something as fundamental as Charo Sábada, PhD in Communication, points out: "Can technology and education be reconciled? Yes, and we must make it possible for technology and education to be reconciled because it is our responsibility, and our children's happiness depends on it."